Helen and Lily are shopping -- guess where? At Rudi's Vintage Togs. Or Rudi's: The Only Vintage Store in Town. Or whatever it's called. I believe the UnNun shops there, but Helen, not so much. Yeah, sure, Lily probably dragged her along. The contrivances in this plot only get more severe, so why nitpick here? Helen tells Lily about the countersuit. Lily, holding up an outfit: "Good. Does the colour make me look like a corpse?" You can't tell whether she thinks that's a bad thing, or if it's the effect she's after. Helen: "Maybe this isn't the best place to talk." Lily: "Retail therapy, Helen. Don't underestimate it." Helen: "So you don't think countersuing seems sort of…" Lily: "Human?" Helen throws up her hand: "I'm just so angry all the time, every second, every minute…I…don't want to be this person. Aren't we supposed to try to be as good as we possibly can?" Lily: "Oh, you want to be a saint?" Helen: "You are so hard to talk to." What'll you do if she ends up being your daughter-in-law? Lily: "Hey…don't take your anger out on me just because I have a delightful personality." Helen claims she doesn't want to be a saint. I don't buy it. Lily: "But you're thinking about letting these people take your house and toss your family into the street so that God can pat you on the head and tell you how selfless you are! Look, I know that God says the poor will always be among us, but I don't think he would want us to get poor by being stupid." Rock on, Sister Boogie Board.
Helen: "You know, I was going to try to get you to stop smoking, but now…I don't really care." Lily pulls the red leather coat off a hanger and holds it up, saying, "Well, too bad you're not human, because you would look great in this." Helen smiles and says it's beautiful as she tries it on. PMVD, having spotted his mark, wanders over to say, "A steal at $150, dear." Lily's outraged: "A hundred and fifty? What are you smoking?" Whatever it is, she doesn't ask for any, at least not in front of Helen. PMVD: "It's Italian leather!" Helen tells Lily it's okay, she didn't really need the coat anyway. Not to mention: it's just not that great a coat. It has a quilted collar and gold buttons (blecch. Hate gold buttons, or gold anything, really) and while it's probably very good quality, it's not exactly blowing the doors off fashion editors' offices. Lily: "No, if there's anyone who needs fine, Italian craftsmanship, it's you." Helen smiles. "If you, uh, let me borrow it sometime." I really can't see Lily in this coat. Helen turns to PMVD: "I'll give you ninety dollars for it. Take it or leave it." PMVD counters with $120. Helen's annoyed: "You know, I'm already being ripped off by somebody who paralyzed my son, so I don't need anybody else trying to make a buck off me because he thinks I might be vulnerable." PMVD holds up his hand: "Fine, fine. $90." He wanders away. Lily: "Saint Helen the bitchy. Hmm."