Joe Millionaire
Aquamarine Necklace And Diamond Bracelet

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | Grade It Now!
Aquamarine Necklace And Diamond Bracelet

Back in Portofino, Anique and David walk by a marina. Anique interviews that they changed clothes for dinner, and that there were both small and big boats in the harbor. Sometimes it sounds like she's on Sesame Street. I can just imagine a whole segment where she points to a small boat and goes, "Smaaaaall" and then points to a large boat and goes, "Laaaaaarge." I have to make my own fun around here. Anique jokingly points out a giant boat and says that it must be David's. He plays along and points out another boat that must be hers, which isn't really that funny, because she doesn't supposedly have $80 million or whatever. Anique voice-overs that they walked through some shops, and David saw a purse for her. David picked it out? Why do I kind of doubt that? Either Anique picked it out, or someone from production picked it out. Anique interviews that David bought it for her. Anique giggles and thanks him. David interviews that he likes buying the girls gifts, but that the amount of money he's spending on Anique is ridiculous, and that he's not going to be able to tell if she likes him or his money. I had this problem last season, but I don't understand how this whole contrived setup proves anything -- at least not until the truth is revealed to the women. Like, if the women commit to the scenario, they truly think that David has money, so who can blame them for not feeling guilty if he buys them stuff? It's not like he can't afford it. If I were ridiculously wealthy, I would love to buy stuff for family and friends. Hell, I like to do it now, and I'm not ridiculously wealthy. Anyway. My point is that this show is stupid. Thank you.

Anique and David go to dinner and drink giant glasses of wine. David wants to look at the purse again. Man, that is one ugly purse. It's like if you took a black purse and then covered it in gauze, and then strategically (or randomly) ripped the gauze off in spots so that the black parts showed through. So it kind of looks like a diseased pony. Anique interviews that a guy with a lot of money can give you a spectacular date. See, I don't see what's so wrong with saying that.

Back at the villa, Petra is still mad at Cat. Petra tells Cat that while they were eating, Cat didn't say anything for an hour, which wasn't okay. Petra wants Cat to be social sometimes. Cat says she's just trying to survive. It's not like they're on a deserted island with only the clothes on their backs or something. They get free room and board, and their meals are made for them. How is survival so difficult? Petra says that she tries to be in a good mood and have a sense of humor to make things easier. Cat says she's trying to be herself and act. Petra says that sometimes you have to get over it and grow up. Actually, that's a good point, Petra. Cat heaves a sigh and allegedly says, "I so don't like you," but the video was so grainy that who knows what she really said. You know, if this show were actually well put-together and interesting, I wouldn't spend so much time trying to figure out what's really going on, and what people are really saying. But since it sucks and is boring, I pretty much doubt everything that we are shown.

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Joe Millionaire




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