Joe Millionaire
Aquamarine Necklace And Diamond Bracelet

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | Grade It Now!
Aquamarine Necklace And Diamond Bracelet

David and Petra take a picnic down to the beach, but they have to walk down a hill to get there. Petra voice-overs that she had cheap flip-flops on, but that David had some expensive ones, and he kept falling down. David interviews that he hated his slippers. Slippers? Why is he wearing slippers to the beach anyway? I think if you're wearing slippers or flip-flops and trying to climb down a hill, you deserve to fall. That's like complaining because your hiking boots don't match your evening gown. Also, why not just go barefoot? They're walking in sand. They spend, like, ten more minutes on the shoe issue, and we don't even get rewarded with a shot of David falling on his ass, which was bullshit. Petra and David get to the beach and go swimming. Petra has a surprisingly boyish body in that it's straight up and down. Petra interviews the fractured English equivalent of "You can take the boy off the ranch, but you can't take the ranch out of the boy," and adds that she likes it. Because David wore expensive shoes that were slippery? Is that something people on ranches do? Petra and David pack up their things and head back up to the hotel.

That night, David and Petra go out to dinner. Petra says grace. Hey, remember when David used to say grace? And some women were all offended? And then they totally dropped that storyline? Petra makes a toast. David interviews that Petra is really happy, and that they had a good time together. Petra says that they have to drink the whole bottle of wine. David toasts to an evening with Petra, and says he's been looking forward to it. Petra thanks David for taking her to Sardinia. Petra gives David three kisses on his cheeks, and then a small one on the lips. David voice-overs that Petra "knows how to hit all the right buttons and make someone happy." Was that supposed to be a double entendre? Because that was the most chaste kiss ever. If they want us to think that David and Petra did it, they need to show some tongue or something.

Back at the villa, Cat gets ready for her date by brushing her hair and packing some clothes. She voice-overs that she's not looking forward to their date, and that she wishes she could just hang out at the villa with the other women. Just kidding. I thought I'd mix it up a little bit. She really said the same blah blah blah that all the other women said. David greets Cat on the tarmac, and they get onto the jet. David interviews that he really thinks Cat likes him, not his money. Cat voice-overs that she and David have chemistry, and that she feels more like his girlfriend every day.

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Joe Millionaire




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