Joe Millionaire

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 384 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Diamond Necklace

Evan says hello to the women and asks if they are rested, and if they're nervous. He guesses that they're not half as nervous as he is. They laugh politely. Evan says he knows they don't want speeches, so he'll cut to the chase. Melissa shoots Zora a dirty look. In an interview, Sarah says she goes into the elimination ceremonies with an idea of what might happen, and she's not that nervous about this one because she totally put out. I might have added on that last part. Paul calls out the first name, which is...oh dear God, they are really drawing this out. The string section gets a workout until Paul finally calls Sarah's name. In an interview, Evan says, "I think Sarah and I will do some bondage." What? That's what I heard. Let me check the captioning. Oh, he really said, "I think Sarah and I have really bonded." Sorry about that. Evan voice-overs that he doesn't think Sarah's feelings for him are all tied up with money. Sarah thanks Evan and sits back down.

Everyone stares at each other for, like, twenty more minutes, like, please get on with it already! The camera ZOOOOOOOMS in on the final diamond. Diamond! Superstar! The diamond is like, "Dude, don't make me go home with Melissa. She's scary." The shots go: Melissa, Zora, Sarah, diamond, Melissa, Zora, Evan, and Paul. Finally, Paul says, "Zzzzzzora!" You know he enjoyed that. Zora pops up. Behind her back, Sarah and Melissa totally make faces at each other like, "What's up with that? We both put out and she gets to stay? Hell, no!" In an interview, Evan says that Zora is mysterious and intriguing, which is sexy, and she makes him feel like a kid again. In other words, she might give him a handjob, but that's about it. Zora returns to her seat.

Melissa has a look on her face like she's just realizing how badly she whored herself out for no reward. In an interview, Evan says he didn't have feelings for Melissa, and that while she's cute, something was missing. Evan tells Zora and Sarah he'll see them tomorrow. Melissa jumps up and manically asks for a hug goodbye. Evan hugs her and then he and Paul walk out. Melissa wants to see the necklaces. As she examines Zora's, she pretends she's going to rip it off, but I totally would not have been surprised if she actually had, because this show is just that trashy. Paul returns and tells Melissa that it's time to go. Sarah gives Melissa a quick hug, as does Zora.

Joe Millionaire

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