David sits in the green room (or whatever you call the room where he hangs out with Paul before and after the elimination ceremony) and massages his temples. He says that he's had a headache for a week, and he wonders how it came to this. Which is, of course, the universal cue for a giant recap of all that has happened before.
On Day One, David met the girls. And we all met Hurricane. Oh, Hurricane. I will miss you and you alone about this stupid show. David grabbed an extra chair for Cat and carried it across the porch. Jerusha said that she and David obviously weren't meant to be, and I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact that she was the oldest contestant, and the only one who had skin darker than olive-toned. Next up were the group dates. David was surprised that the girls kept asking him about the money. In Pisa, David kept staring at Linda in a creepy way. Tereza said she probably got eliminated because she was cursing, drinking vodka, and not wearing underwear. That was probably the last interesting thing anyone said on this show. At the ranch date, Lina cried that it was supposed to be dream date, not shit date, which was probably the last humorous thing anyone said on this show. Cat was the only one to stay the night at the campsite. Linda told David that she wanted to leave, so he eliminated her at the next ceremony.
The first set of individual dates followed. Petra cheered David up following Linda's departure. Olinda asked if she could get a Gucci bag if she managed to get out of bed. Cat and David kissed on their date. The remaining women confronted Cat about her rude behavior, which consisted of eye-rolling and silence. If that's rude, then I'm in big trouble. I also burp and curse. With four girls left, David took them on individual dates in Rome. He got to play gladiator with Olinda. David was really worried about Petra's questions at the Mouth of Truth, which frankly seems to be giving Petra credit for a whole lot of smarts that she does not possess. David eliminated Olinda.