Joe Millionaire

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | 505 USERS: B-
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Diamond Ring, Again

At the villa, Linda hangs out. She interviews that she was the first to catch David's attention, and that sometimes she understands what he means before he says anything. That's good, because half the time I don't understand what he's trying to say even after he's said it. Linda voice-overs that Cat should be hurt because Linda is back, but that Cat seems confident about her position.

Cat tells David that she's never had so many nice dates with a guy. Cat interviews that she respects David's honesty. Cat tells David that she brought him a gift, and she pulls it out. It's a CD. David pretends to be excited, and tells her that she's thoughtful. David interviews that Cat is sweet, and that he thinks that she likes him whether he has money or not. David asks Cat for advice on his situation, which doesn't seem like a good idea. Cat tells him to be honest. The editors cut in four or five shots of David looking like he's about to puke. Cat tells him he looks unhappy. David says that "a guy is stressed out." What guy? Where? Cat offers to do anything she can to help. Because she's dirty. David interviews that Cat really cares about him, and that she is loving and romantic. David gives Cat the flower from the centerpiece, which is pretty lame after the other gifts he's given. They hug good night.

That night, Cat sits on the steps outside the villa and smokes. Cat voice-overs that David seemed different and sad. Meanwhile, David tosses and turns in bed and says that this decision is killing him. Yeah, like he has anything to do with this decision. At the villa, Cat tells Linda that she wanted to help David, but that she didn't know how. Linda voice-overs that Cat seems upset, and that she didn't know Cat had such strong feelings for David. Cat may or may not be in tears. David lies in bed and pretends to mull over his decision, but it's really just another excuse for the editors to use footage of David minus his shirt. Cat and Linda continue talking. Linda interviews that she's confused, because she thought David's feelings for her were unique, but now she knows that he likes both Cat and herself.

The next morning, David rolls out of bed and scratches his head because the director obviously said, "Act confused! Yes! Great! And can you do that while also flexing your pectoral muscles? Excellent!" David interviews that it's been "a roller coaster," adding that he didn't realize it would be "this intense," and that he could get rejected. David splashes water on his face and the director asks if he could "accidentally" splash some on his chest as well. Or even better, just pour the whole bowl of water on himself. But look natural. David interviews, "A guy's gotta find a girl that likes a guy for a guy...likes a cowboy for just being himself." It's really bizarre how David talks about himself in the third person, but he doesn't even call himself "David." He calls himself "a guy" or "a cowboy," like he's so generic that he doesn't even merit a proper name.

Joe Millionaire

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