Joe Millionaire
Diamond Ring, Again

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Diamond Ring, Again

David puts the letter back in the envelope and turns his back on the house to walk back to his horse. In a totally surprising (not) and unscripted (not) moment, Linda walks out of the house. David doesn't see her, since his back is to the house. Linda calls his name in a croaky voice, and David turns around and hugs her. That song plays as they hug for twenty-five seconds. Linda's wearing a white shirt and leather pants, and it would have been really cool if she was like, "Tell me about it, stud," and then ground out her cigarette with her shoe before she and David launched into a musical number. I'm telling you, I could write the greatest reality show ever. Well, it wouldn't be very real, but then again, neither is this show. David interviews that he's really in love with Linda, and he adds at the end, "It's love! It's love! I guess. I don't know." Well, that's convincing. Linda interviews that the whole story is romantic, because she left and then came back, and that she's very happy.

Paul walks out with the ring. David tells Linda that he's grateful she's in Texas, and that she can wear the ring on her right hand if she wants to. Linda puts it on her left hand anyway. David interviews that he would be lucky if Linda settled down with him. Linda thanks him for everything, and David thanks her back. They are both giddy. Linda says it seems so right, and David agrees that it's amazing. They kiss and giggle. Linda interviews that it's amazing that they both felt the same way. David walks her over to North, and she pets him. David interviews that he was really sad after leaving Italy, but now he feels like the Incredible Hulk. So that would be very angry and very green? Linda says that her ring is beautiful, and David says that she's more beautiful.

As they talk to North, Paul walks out holding a silver tray with a silver cover. David talks about how he couldn't imagine going on a show and finding love. He notices Paul standing there, and Linda asks if they're having some food. Paul tells them that their journey isn't over quite yet. He said "journey"! Foul!

After the commercial, they reshow the last scene. Whatever could Paul have? Paul says that love itself has made Linda's life richer, and then presents her with a check for $250,000. David squeals like a woman. Linda just grins and voice-overs that she didn't think it could be happening. She thanks Paul. Linda interviews that she comes from a poor family, and that she's glad she can help them now. David and Linda stare at the check for a while. Linda asks if David gets anything, and David says that he got her. Paul says that they told David at the beginning that he wouldn't get any money, and David agrees. Paul says that David's heart was always true, even though he had to lie, so they hope that David and Linda will start a new life together on David's new ranch. Paul explains that the house, and the ninety acres surrounding it, now belong to David. Paul hands over a deed. How will David pay the taxes with his meager income? Maybe Linda can pitch in with her big bucks. David and Linda hug. David interviews that a ranch isn't like a hat or a new pair of boots. Oh, David. Wise until the end. David notices that the deed is notarized. David interviews that he didn't expect anything. Linda says that she's happy for him, and David says he's happy for her, too. Linda interviews that she was happy to see David again, and that she has hope for the future. David says he can't wait for her to meet his parents.

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Joe Millionaire




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