Joe Millionaire
Diamond Ring, Again

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | Grade It Now!
Diamond Ring, Again

Linda tells David that she's never been treated so nicely in her life before, which is so very sad. Linda says she feels like a lady as she plays with her diamond bracelet. David tells her that she deserves the best. David interviews that he feels like less of a guy, because Linda was in love with the special treatment and the gifts, and it was all a lie. David adds that Linda is "so, like, pure and she's so honest, and I'm lying to this girl and it ain't right." So that's why she's wearing the white shirt. So that we viewers understand that Linda is the pure one.

Linda voice-overs that there was still a weird nervous energy, and she suggests that they go for a walk. David interviews that it was their last date, and that he couldn't be comfortable. David asks if there are cowboys in the Czech Republic. Linda says there aren't. David mumbles something about how Linda must think he's crazy, and she says that she thinks he's honest and genuine. David drops dead from a heart attack. Linda is crushed by a falling anvil. Those are about the only two things that would keep viewers awake right now. Remember last season when they had the animals with Zora in the woods? What happened to that editing team? Did they not get rehired for this season? Because as cheesy as that was, at least it was somewhat unexpected and sort of funny.

Back at the villa, dirty Cat is smoking yet another cigarette. And she's taken her shoes off! And she has a toe ring on! She is so dirty. Linda walks back in and says hello. Cat voice-overs that Linda seemed nervous. Linda says that she doesn't think she's supposed to be there anymore. Linda interviews that she doesn't know if David will choose her. Linda says that she's never been treated so well and like a princess. Cat just sighs. Linda says that it will all be over in one day,and that they'll never see each other again. Cat asks if Linda is talking about the two of them. Linda says that she is, but that she's also talking about David. Linda says yet again that she's never been treated so nicely. See? She's grateful! Unlike that dirty whore, Cat. Who smokes. And has toe rings.

Paul tells Cat that it's time for her date. Cat asks for two more minutes. Linda would never ask for two more minutes! Paul interviews that Cat is "a curious individual" who "seems very worldly and quite sophisticated." Paul adds that she's "sort of foxy," by which he means that she has "the elegance of a fox." I'll translate for you. Cat is a dirty whore who has slept with a lot of guys, but she sure is a hot piece of ass. Cat interviews that she's never been to Texas, but that she would move there to be with David. Cat thinks that they've built something together, and she hopes that David sees that.

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Joe Millionaire




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