Joe Millionaire
Emerald Necklace, Again

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Kim: D+ | Grade It Now!
Emerald Necklace, Again

The women start cleaning. Cat interviews that cleaning the stall involved pulling all the shit out of it. David tells Olinda to toss her load of shit into the back of a nearby truck. Olinda, surprisingly, is right in there shoveling, as is Alessia. Anique interviews that it's logical that you have to do some work before sitting on the horses. Anique uses a broom to sweep the ceiling of the stall, which doesn't seem that helpful, but whatever. I guess she can't use a broom to shovel shit. Giada, Linda, and Lina don't seem to pitch in much. Linda interviews that she was just watching everyone and trying to avoid doing work. Well, at least she's honest about it. Cat walks out with what looks like a long-handled cat litter scoop, and dumps some crap into the truck. Olinda says that you just have to get in there. Olinda interviews that she just got busy shoveling horse poop. David gives the women instructions. Olinda walks out with a regular shovel and dumps the contents into the truck. Alessia yells at her for dumping the hay along with the shit. Olinda says that it was all shit. What a metaphor for this show. Lina, Giada, and Cat sit near the wall and look disgusted. Petra says that she's done enough. David announces that now they are going to saddle some horses.

The women lead some horses into a clearing. Cue the montage of women riding horses. I hope they wore sports bras. Olinda, Cat, and Anique are clearly experienced in horseback riding. Lina asks what David is holding, and he says that they are rodeo chaps. Except he pronounces it "shaps." Is that the European pronunciation? David puts them on, and they're just regular chaps with fringe down the sides. So I guess to make something "rodeo," you just add fringe. The women cheer. Olinda interviews that the chaps showed that David had a good butt because it was "nice and perky and you could really get in there." Why would you want to get in there? Forget it. I don't want to know. David rides Hurricane around the clearing. David interviews that it was the most comfortable he's ever been on a date. Lina interviews that David looked sexy, riding around. Hurricane's like, "What about me? Neigh?" Anique interviews that for the first time, she didn't feel like David was putting on an act, and was just being himself. Oh, the irony.

Kristyna asks if David will ride Hurricane with her. Hurricane's like, "Whoa! One at a time, ladies! There's enough of me to go around." David and Kristyna ride around the ring. Cat interviews that it's important to understand David's life because it's his passion. David demonstrates how he rides in the rodeo by lying back on his horse. Hurricane is like, "What are you doing, bitch?! Sit up like a normal person." David interview that he thinks he has a connection with Cat, because she was asking a lot of questions and seemed interested. Cat interviews that she would love to go horseback riding alone with David. Giada sits on a fence and whines that she's thirsty, hungry, and tired. David interviews that Giada disappointed him, because she didn't try to have fun. Linda rides, like, two steps and says she's done. David goes over to help. David interviews that it was his "perfect chance" to get closer to Linda, so they rode the horse together, since it was her first time. Linda interviews that she thought David was helping her and trying to make her feel safe. Hurricane starts lifting his feet way up in the air in a fancy step, so clearly he's not a rodeo horse. It cracked me up because my dog does the same thing when he gets excited, and we call it "high stepping" like football players do when they get near the end zone. Hurricane's like, "Look at me dance, bitches! I'm so pretty! I could challenge Justin Timberlake to a dance-off! I'll rock your body! Neigh!" Linda thinks Hurricane doesn't like her, and David says that Hurricane told him that he loves her. Somehow I think David really believes that Hurricane talks to him. Linda interviews that David got more attractive as she got to know him more. David interviews that it will take time to win Linda over.

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Joe Millionaire




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