Joe Millionaire
Emerald Necklace

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Emerald Necklace

Paul comes to the door and invites the woman downstairs. Melissa says that it's doomsday. Oh my God, they just showed Mojo and I think she was wearing sunglasses. Inside. To sit around and chat with the other women. She puts the "ass" in "sunglasses." In an interview, Melissa says they thought three women might be eliminated this time, so they're all nervous. In an interview, Zora says she thought they might cut two. Sarah says the odds are that more than one will be eliminated. In an interview, Sarah says she thinks she and Melissa will stay, but that the rest are wild cards. Paul appears to ask them downstairs.

The women go out and get into a limo. In the car, Melissa says something about not all fairy tales having happy endings, so that brings the FTC for the episode up to two. Alison says that some fairy tales end with the knife. The women all get on a boat. Fucking Mojo is wearing a midriff-baring top again. Hate her. They all look nervous and fidgety. Alex shows up! Alex! She's alive! I had totally forgotten about her existence. She's wearing the fugliest mauve corduroy skirt and blazer ever. And she has a mauve-tinted fur around her neck. Who in the hell was her stylist on the show? Mojo? Alex says that, in a moment, Evan will hand out four emerald necklaces. She concludes, "So I'll just get Evan." That's it? That's her whole part this week? I hope she doesn't get paid by the minute, because I don't think she was even there for sixty seconds. In an interview, Alison says she's freaking out because everything is out of her control. We are so destined to be BFF because I am a control freak, too.

Paul and Evan enter the room. Paul carries a silver tray with the emerald necklaces on it. He takes care to shut the door behind him, and I imagine that he's locking Alex away until it's time for her forty-five seconds of screen time next week. Maybe that furry thing around Alex's neck bit her and she has rabies and that's why we never see her. The mystery continues. Evan voice-overs that he had to eliminate one girl, and that it was probably the hardest decision of the whole show.

Evan greets the women and says that they had five really good dates, and that he hopes they all enjoyed the adventure. In an interview, Evan says that the process is very hard. Oh, quit pretending he made the decisions himself. I'm sure the producers told him he could pick one or two and then they picked the rest. In the worst-edited sequence yet, Evan wiggles his eyebrows at someone, and they try to make it out like it was Sarah, and we see her reaction shot, but the problem is that I think there is only one camera in the room so they couldn't have possibly gotten all that. Evan asks Paul to start, and he calls Sarah's name first. In an interview, Evan says that he gets along with Sarah and that they have great conversations. Then he admits his real reason, which is that she looked really hot in her tango outfit.

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Joe Millionaire

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