Joe Millionaire
Emerald Necklace

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Kim: B | 1 USERS: A+
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Emerald Necklace

Melissa and Evan have a glass of champagne in a restaurant. Evan sure does drink a lot of champagne. Melissa says she's really happy. In an interview, Evan says that Melissa is really honest and genuine, and that he thinks she really likes him. In an interview, Melissa says she has "total chemistry with him" and that chemistry is "uncontrollable." And then she lifts her hands up and waves them around like a magician. She's kind of an asshole too. Melissa says that it's a great first date. Evan says that after they leave the restaurant, they'll go back to his place for a cocktail. I'd be a little concerned about his constant drinking, I think. Evan says he's got a gift for her. In an interview, Melissa talks about all the stuff she got from Evan, and says that she would like to live comfortably. Back in Evan's room, Melissa and Evan drink some more champagne. How do they not get headaches all the time? Champagne gives me a headache. Evan and Melissa agree that it was a great day. Evan is ready to give Melissa her gift. He unveils a painting: a portrait of Melissa. Oh. It's so bad. First of all, it looks nothing like her. Second of all, one of the eyes is crossed. Third of all, she looks like Bugs Bunny with the teeth. The hair is all wrong. Who did this, Ray Charles? Evan points out the eyes as if they're not crossed. In an interview, Evan says he had a street artist paint it, and that he thought it was a great likeness of her. Isn't he supposed to be rich? Couldn't he afford something a little higher end than a street artist? Melissa gives Evan a hug. In an interview, Melissa says she was shocked. She says she loves it.

Evan wraps the painting back up and Melissa takes it back to her room. When she gets there, she shows it to Sarah, who says it's gorgeous. Melissa thinks her teeth look big. In an interview, Evan says that Melissa loved it, and that he definitely thinks she thought it looked like her. Sarah says that Melissa is prettier than the painting. Melissa examines it up close and says it looks like she has big buck teeth. Who cares? It's a painting by a street artist! Just throw it out when you get home. Actually, I'd hang it, like, over my mantel because it would make me laugh every time I saw it, but I'm weird like that. Alison checks it out. Melissa says she looks ethnic. What does that even mean? ["Jewish? Italian? Greek?" -- Wing Chun] Alison points out that even if it were a great likeness, it would be weird to hang it in her living room. I'm sure my best friend would approve of me doing it as a joke, though. Alison laughs and asks what you do with a portrait of yourself. Melissa still seems perturbed by the whole thing. She doesn't have much of a sense of humor about herself, does she?

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Joe Millionaire

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