Joe Millionaire
Filler Necklace

Episode Report Card
Kim: F | Grade It Now!
Filler Necklace

Mastercheese Theatre. Okay, I'm over Paul. Too much Paul! He says that he doesn't envy Evan, because Evan has to make a hard decision and then admit the truth. Less talk, more action!

Evan and Sarah's walk continues. Evan says that his time with Sarah has been excellent, and that he wanted to forget about their surroundings and spend time together. Sarah agrees that the opportunity to do that doesn't come up. The editors messily patch in an audio track of Evan talking about his second individual date with Sarah to make us think that they are actually discussing it.

Remember when Sarah and Evan went on a bike ride together? Two weeks ago? And they got wasted during the wine tasting? Sarah brought up the money issue, and Evan dodged the issue by kissing her. The editors bring back the looping machine to make it look like they made out for hours and hours. Back in the woods, Sarah brings up the time they ran around in the woods. I can't watch this footage now, ever since someone on the forums brought up the fact that Sarah's moaning and groaning could have been taken from any number of times that she made those orgasmic noises. So now I feel like the slurping and gulping were audio tracks from dinner or something that were looped in.

Evan and Zora stumble around some more. Evan is, like, twenty feet in front of her. Does Zora have polio? Why is she walking without bending her knees and swinging her hair? Evan asks if she has any questions. Zora says that she doesn't want to pressure him. Evan realizes that she's not being honest, and they laugh.

Remember when Evan and Zora went on a picnic and Zora turned into Snow White and all of the animals of the forest showed up via cheap stock footage? And Evan laughed in slow motion? Those were the days, man. And then they went into the hot tub even though I thought Zora didn't want to wear a bathing suit on camera. And then all the other women joined them and Sarah's nipples were totally on the sides of her breasts, which scared me. And then Zora left the hot tub.

Mastercheese Theatre. Paul says he doesn't know how he would have handled the hot-tub dilemma, but he thinks if he were in the hot tub, there wouldn't have been any dilemma. What does that even mean? He's gay? He would have just done it with all of the girls? He wouldn't have let the other girls join them? ["That if he had been in the hot tub, the women wouldn't have been, because they're not interested in him?" -- Wing Chun] I don't get it. The bumper to commercial promises that Evan will choose, because time has run out. Evan says a-freaking-gain that this is a difficult decision and then we hear the quote a-freaking-gain about how Evan thought he would have his mind made up at this point. Sigh.

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Joe Millionaire




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