The credits are kind of like the credits from Bonanza with the fake Western adventure-type music. A map of Europe is superimposed over a shot of the cowboy riding his horse. Is he riding his horse through Europe? Each of the women is introduced based on her native country, but I'm not going to cover them individually yet. Just know that there are three from Germany, two from Sweden, four from the Czech Republic, two from the Netherlands, and three from Italy. The cowboy gazes out over Europe, and then I totally called it that this was a Bonanza rip-off, because the map burns up at the end. Paul the Butler welcomes us to the next Joe Millionaire as the music ends with a flourish.
Paul sits in front of the fire with his brandy, and welcome us back. Paul says that we may be "wondering how [they] could have possibly managed to pull this off." Yes, Paul. I am wondering. Because I have been living in a cave for the past three months, without access to newspapers, magazines, television, the internet, or other people, and thus have heard nothing about the premise of this show. Also, I have failed to watch any FOX programming for the past four weeks, and thus somehow missed the eight million commercials for this show that totally gave away the whole premise. If FOX wanted better ratings for this episode, they should have kept the premise a secret. Paul explains that the producers found fourteen "gorgeous, sophisticated and refined" ladies in Europe who had never heard of the show. I don't want those kinds of ladies! I want women like Heidi and Sarah! Paul says that women all over the world have a lot in common: "Some are nice, some are not so nice, and some of them are only in it for the money." So you mean that women are a lot like men in that regard? Wait, women are human beings? Say it isn't so. Oh, how The Rules have failed me yet again. Paul wonders if the new Joe will make the right choice, and whether his "newfound love" will accept him once she knows the truth. Paul also promises that we might think we know, but truly we don't know how this will all end up, because "many a twist and turn awaits [us]." Yeah, I've heard that before. Paul is like my abusive husband. He keeps promising me that things will be better, and so I keep taking him back, and then he just beats me down one more time.













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