So let's meet the new Joe! Could they have possibly found someone as doofy as Evan? To start with, his name is David Smith. Well, that's memorable. They couldn't find a John Doe or a...I just asked my husband to help me think of a common male American name and he offered up "Joaquin." So I told him it needed to be a first and last name and he said, "Fran Tarkenton." He is no help at all. And we're at the rodeo! And David is taking his shirt off for no apparent reason! Not that I'm complaining because he is some serious eye candy. How do you think the producers talked him into that one? "But David, we need to shoot footage of you changing into your cowboy outfit! Otherwise, people won't understand how you started out in one shirt and ended up in another. Trust us, we're professionals. No, it won't be exploitative." And then I picture David like Coco in Fame, clutching his shirt and crying, but knowing that this is what he has to do to become a star. And then he'll sing "Out Here On My Own." That would be awesome. Anyway, David explains that he "ride[s] bareback broncs for a living." Dirty! And then he adds that he gets excited when he rides. Dirtier! Hee! David gets bucked off a horse. David's rodeo coach explains that even people who win a lot have a hard time making a living on the rodeo circuit.
Hey, David's changing his shirt again! That's, like, two shots of his naked torso in about thirty seconds. Again, not complaining. In fact, freeze-framing and gawking. The funniest part is that he leaves his shirt pulled up, stomach exposed, while he puts on his cowboy hat. I'm sure that was purely accidental. David pulls a couple of crumpled dollar bills out of his pocket as he voice-overs that most cowboys aren't rich, and do it for the love. The rodeo coach says that David is humble, appreciative, and trustworthy. And yet willing to completely fuck with the minds of fourteen women for the right price. David explains that his parents raised him "Southern," but that he's not allowed to wear his cowboy hat in the house. I have to say that I think of cowboy hats as more Western than Southern. David explains that his parents are old-fashioned, but that they are right in the way they raised him. And also, his mother doesn't like him to wear spurs at the dinner table. So no hats and no spurs? Well, I am definitely not accepting that surely-on-the-way dinner invitation at the Smith house.