Joe Millionaire
Meet David Smith

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Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Meet David Smith

Meanwhile, the women are hanging out by the pool, cackling. Olinda tells a story about a man and his horse and the love that dare not speak its name. The women down some wine. Paul walks out. He voice-overs that he thought that, after the previous night, the women would take it easy, and he adds that they will be getting a surprise visit from David tomorrow. The women continue to drink and laugh. David just hangs out with Hurricane some more.

The staff prepares breakfast and has another totally not-scripted realistic conversation. The chef wonders how the women will react to David's visit. A maid asks what time he's supposed to arrive, and the chef says it will be at noon. It's 7:00 AM now. If they really wanted to make this interesting, they would have had David show up earlier. David gets out of bed and shaves, and then voice-overs that he has to look the women "straight in the eyes and not be honest." David puts on his best outfit to meet the women: a blue polo shirt, jeans, a giant belt buckle, and his cowboy hat. Fancy. He mounts Hurricane bareback. Dirty! David voice-overs that he's never told a lie this big in his life.

It's 8:00 AM at the villa. Paul knocks on the women's bedroom doors and tells them that breakfast is in half an hour. Anique interviews that she didn't want to get up at all. One woman asks for the lights to be turned off. Another one says that she won't be getting up at 8:00 AM every day. Yeah, especially when they have nothing to do. Most of the women wear sunglasses to breakfast. It looks like only about half of them made it downstairs. Olinda interviews that they've waited a long time, and they're Europeans, so they're not used to waiting. Wuh? Paul announces that the reason they had to get up early is because David wants to meet them before "this evening," and will be dropping by to introduce himself. Petra interviews that they were excited to meet David. One of the women does some sort of rap about Texas. I don't know. Petra interviews that Paul told them that they would meet David that afternoon, and that they had to get dressed.

It's 10:30 AM. The women are putting on makeup and doing their hair. Johanna interviews that she wonders if David is on his ranch all the time, or if he goes out clubbing. To all those clubs they have in rural Texas. Haven't these women seen Urban Cowboy? Anique interviews that she doesn't think it would be awkward to date a cowboy, because she's used to "hairy, smelly stuff."

David once again changes his shirt. But it's totally not an excuse to show off his body. The shirt is a turquoise button-down with a paisley pattern. It's as ugly as it sounds. Also, didn't he already get dressed once today? What happened to the polo shirt? The women primp some more, as David primps Hurricane. One women interviews that she's sure David will wear a cowboy hat. David puts a saddle on Hurricane. Lina interviews that she admires that someone is still a cowboy. During Lina's interview, there were a million crickets chirping in the background. What's up with that. More primping and makeup application. David put his hat on for about the millionth time. Which does he take off more, his hat or his shirt?

It's a quarter to noon. Paul leads the women out onto the front steps. Half of them are carrying purses. What for? Alessia is wearing her cowgirl shirt and Joey Potter-style low-cut jeans. Except she's about four Joey Potters. Which is probably healthy, but not really the best figure for those jeans. David rides Hurricane towards the villa. The women assemble on the front lawn. Olinda interviews that they were all waiting for their "Prince Charming." That just reminds me that no one has said fairy tale yet this season. David rides Hurricane some more. Linda interviews that they were wall waiting for the cowboy to arrive. Paul checks his watch. Yassamin says that they were just waiting. So were they waiting? Because I haven't gotten the vibe that they are waiting. I thought they were assembling for a game of Mother May I on the front lawn.

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Joe Millionaire




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