Joe Millionaire
Meet David Smith

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Meet David Smith

Hey, guess what? The women are still waiting. Spaghetti Western music plays as the camera focuses on the front gate. Lina interviews that they were all excited that the man was a "millionaire cowboy," and that she thinks that it's both cool and funny. The clock strikes 12. David -- who has been waiting outside the gate -- rides in on Hurricane. The editors add in a fake neigh for good measure. The women can barely see David, because the sun is so bright. Good thing Alessia brought her fan to shield her eyes! David and Hurricane gallop down the long driveway. The women don't look that impressed. I think Alessia's fan is the equivalent of fucking Mojo's hat(s). David arrives and waves. Hurricane neighs a bunch of times, and David claims that it's a sign that he likes the women. David dismounts and awkwardly says that they are finally getting to meet. He takes off his cowboy hat and introduces himself and Hurricane. The women like the horse's name. David asks if they are enjoying Italy, and then tells them that they all look great. He's standing about twenty yards away from the women, so I can't believe that they can hear him very well. David says he stopped by to thank them for coming out to meet them. David is ill at ease, and Hurricane keeps shaking his mane. David tells the women that he wants them to feel at home, and that they should ask him for anything. David struggles to remember the speech he was fed by the producers, and lamely concludes, "We'll be seeing you all this evening!" Hurricane shakes his mane again, like, "Dude, I am so not going to that stupid dance tonight, so stop speaking for me. Also, neigh."

Petra interviews that David had a bright smile and he seemed shy, but she likes that. Alessia calls out to David that he should stay and hang out with them. David, terrified, gallops away on Hurricane. Run, David! Run! Cat interviews that the first thing she will ask David is why he needs to meet a girlfriend, since there are so many girls in America. Tereza interviews that David has "a nice ass." Ooh, girl! Zora never talked about Evan's ass! Jerusha interviews that she wonders about David's personality and how he will behave with fourteen women around, especially since they are from different cultures than he. She thinks they might "intimidate or frighten him." Based on his performance just now, I think Jerusha is right on the money. Linda interviews that she hoped they could introduce themselves, because until she shakes David's hand and looks in his eyes, she can't say much about him. Yes, and once she shakes his hand, she will know all. One of the women voice-overs, "My last name means 'poor,' but I'm sure that is going to change soon." Then they insert a super-cheesy voice-over of David going, "So how do you think it went, Hurricane?" And Hurricane goes, "Neeeeeigh!" I love Hurricane.

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Joe Millionaire




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