Joe Millionaire
Meet David Smith

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Meet David Smith

Karolina, twenty-five, from the Czech Republic, speculates that David will be handsome and perfect, but then realizes that he might not be, and guesses, "Maybe he's gonna be a girl!" That is such a different show, but one I would totally watch. And I like her creativity. One of the women packs her suitcase with about ten different evening bags. A woman who I think is Italian, but goes unidentified, says that she likes honesty, and a sense of humor, and "some money, because it is important to have some money." She has a lot of hair, and is wearing a sparkly bindi and carrying what appears to be fan in case she gets overheated. She's weird. I like her. Lina, twenty-two, from Sweden, says that she likes "a sophisticated man." Oh, dear. Anique returns to say that they are all excited to meet the guy, and to finally see him. The ladies all exit the spa with their suitcases. David and Paul walk around the grounds of the villa. David asks, when he gets to meet the ladies, and Paul says it will be "very shortly." But not before a commercial break.

Back at the villa, there is a statue of a cherub riding a horse, which is bucking. It's like they planned it! Does anyone else think that the producers bought that statue and had it planted there? Some on-screen text informs us that the "girls" are arriving, in case you were unable to decipher that information from the fact that the ladies are arriving via horse-drawn carriage. Paul instructs the household staff on how to stand for greeting purpose. There are two maids and a chef. And a hostess! And it's not Alex! Although she could be Alex's younger sister. Here's hoping she gets more than two seconds of screen time per episode. The first to arrive are Alessia (the one with the bindi and all the hair) and Kristyna, who has some bad highlights. Alessia is wearing a strapless blue dress, which is a little too tight, as it creates an unsightly fat roll. Next up are Jerusha and Karolina. Jerusha is thirty, dressed sensibly, and not Caucasian, so you know she's not going to last. Karolina is wearing a one-shouldered belly shirt that is about three sizes too small, and Terminator sunglasses. They ooh and ah over the view. Anique and Yassamin are next. Yassamin makes Anique take her hand, and then fake-proposes. They giggle. Linda and Johanna are next. Johanna kind of looks like Christa from Survivor. Linda is a brunette with a shoulder-length bob, for those of you playing the home game. Totally screwing up the order, as well as not helping those of us who are trying to keep all of these women straight, Anique and Yassimin are in the first carriage that we actually see pull up to the villa. Paul helps them out and Samantha, the host, welcomes them. She introduces Paul, and then he introduces the chef and maids. The women are very gracious.

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Joe Millionaire

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