Joe Millionaire
Pearl and Sapphire Necklaces, Again

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Kim: C- | Grade It Now!
Pearl and Sapphire Necklaces, Again

Paul and David walk out onto the porch, which I guess is serving as the ballroom. David voice-overs (or rather reads from the paper the producers handed him) and says that he's nervous about the ball, but more nervous about how the girls will react when they find out about the elimination. Paul walks back into the house to fetch the ladies. David checks his breath and shoots his cuffs.

The Ball Begins. A classical trio plays as David waits. David voice-overs that when he was standing there with the candles and music, it hit him that everything he's done so far has been leading up to this moment. That is so sad. He also hopes that he can pull it off. That last sentence was so obviously written for him, and he delivered it in such a stilted manner.

Paul enters the room with Olinda on his arm. Olinda's dress is actually not bad. It's a beige number with rolled fabric straps and a handkerchief hem. She's got on way too much lip gloss, but it's Olinda, so that's to be expected. She's also got one of those bony chests that freak me out. I don't need to see anyone's sternum, thank you very much. She introduces herself to David, and he calls her "Wallenda." Hee! David asks what she does, and she explains that she's a fashion designer. David compliments her dress. Olinda confesses that she's nervous, and David says that he is too. David voice-overs that he thought it was cute and kind of attractive that she was nervous. He offers her some champagne, and she accepts a little too enthusiastically. Olinda voice-overs that David was a gentleman and really cute.

Next up is Linda, who is wearing a white knee-length sheath dress. It wouldn't be so bad, except that the top half has diamond cutouts. The panels over her boobs are solid white. The other panels are sheer. With polka dots. That thing is ugly. She's beautiful, and that dress does nothing for her. David interviews that he found Linda very attractive. Linda says she's from the Czech Republic and David summons up, "Prague, right?" I was totally kidding when I said he would use that knowledge! That's so funny. Linda says she was in Italy before, modeling. David says he can see that she was a model. Linda interviews that David did well for how nervous he was, and that he didn't seem shy to her.

Lina is the next one out. She is pretty tall. She's got on a small heel, and she's almost David's height. She's about six inches taller than Paul. David asks if she's heard of Texas. She has, and unenthusiastically says, "Howdy. Yeah, sure." David gets all excited that she said "howdy." She repeats, "Howdy, cowboy." I wish that there were a punctuation mark that was like the opposite of an exclamation point so that I could accurately depict how completely unexcited she sounds. David offers her some champagne and she accepts. At one point, David says, "Yes, ma'am," and Lina kind of makes fun of him. David interviews that Lina was attractive but that he thinks she's out for money. Because she said "howdy"? Where did he get that from?

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Joe Millionaire




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