Joe Millionaire
Pearl and Sapphire Necklaces, Again

Episode Report Card
Kim: C- | Grade It Now!
Pearl and Sapphire Necklaces, Again

Paul brings out Alessia, minus the fan. She's wearing a strapless dress and there is some sort of appliqué across the chest that makes her boobs look totally crooked. Like, one is about three inches lower than the other. Imagine Shannen Doherty's eyes, if they were boobs, and belonging to Alessia, and that's the effect. Alessia asks, "And where is the horse?" but because of her accent, it comes out, "And where is de whores?" David can't understand her. Or wondered why she was calling the other women whores. I'm not sure which. David apologizes for being from Texas. Hey, that works for me! Alessia interviews that she thinks David is sweet, nice, and polite. David leads Alessia off to the side and gets her some champagne. Olinda tells Alessia that her hands were shaking, and then she says, "Superstar." Is that a Mary Catherine Gallagher reference? And if so, why?

Karolina comes out next. She's wearing a really low-cut V-neck dress with belt buckles on the straps. It's kind of a silver metallic material, and it doesn't fit her very well. Plus, belt buckles. She tells David that she's from Prague, and that she's going her Master's. David thinks that means she's smart. He obviously didn't meet some of the people in my Master's program. Including, at times, me. Karolina interviews that David is brave, because it would be a hard situation.

Next up is Giada. David can't quite get her name at first. She explains that she only lives thirty minutes away. David exclaims, not for the first time, "Perfect!" And that's it for Giada.

Paul brings Jerusha out next. She says that she lives in Berlin. David remembers that is the capital of Germany, and Paul gives him a little thumbs-up-type gesture. David is all proud of himself, and Jerusha is totally thinking, "What a dork."

Johanna comes out next. She's another tall one. David remembers that Berlin is the capital of Germany. Jerusha's like, "That was our thing! I can't believe he's doing our thing with Johanna!" Except really she's probably like, "Can I get some more champagne? It's going to be a long night."

The women are coming fast and furious now. Yassamin is the next up. David thinks she has a pretty name. Yassamin interviews that David is really cute.

Tereza should sue the hair guy, because he gave her total '80 hair, and not in a good way. She's like Lea Thompson in Howard the Duck. Or maybe Sarah Jessica Parker in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Her hair is all frizzed out and up in an off-center ponytail. Her dress is also, like, one size too small around the middle and it's creating fat rolls that I don't think she really has.

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Joe Millionaire




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