Joe Millionaire
Pearl Necklace

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The Butler Did It!

As the women walk back into the chateau, Mary thinks aloud that Evan looked exactly like a prince from a Disney cartoon because of his "strong brow" and "chiseled jaw." Is Disney a sponsor of this show or something? MoJo is totally the one in the cowboy hat. She says that Evan is "tall, dark, and handsome." Oh, go sew another ruffle on your shirt, MoJo. In an interview, MoJo says that she knows exactly what she wants in a man, and money factors into that equation, because the more money you have, the more fun you can have. So go make your own money, MoJo. I hate you and your cowboy hat and your ruffled shirt and mostly your stupid nickname. In an interview, Dana says nervously that it's going to be a little competitive from now on. In an interview, Mandy (who is the blandiest bland that ever blanded) says that when you bring a guy into the mix, there will be a clear separation. Melissa M. (who is a cross between Irene from Real World Seattle and Neve Campbell) says that it's going to get crazy with twenty girls and one good-looking man, and she can't wait to watch. Me too, Melissa M. Me too.

It's evening. Paul speaks to the assembled women. Seriously, did Alex get fired? Paul explains that they will all enter the dining room and have thirty minutes to select a dress for the ball. In an interview, Andrea says that they tried to "rationalize a game plan." Various women discuss some weird numbering system where five women go in at a time, which would totally suck if you were numbers fifteen through twenty, and do they just randomly pick numbers or what? Heidi, in particular, seems to be a big advocate of this plan. Or she's just really loud. In an interview, Erica says that they all want to make a good first impression at the ball (except it's really their second impression), and they're all promising to remain friends, but she doesn't know if that will work. Heidi orders someone to join a different group. Some redhead I've never seen until this moment says, "I'll go in the kitchen and sew a little dress out of a burlap potato bag, because I don't care. This is horseshit." That woman is my new best friend. Now I just need to find out her name. I think maybe she had one too many glasses of wine.

We see racks of hanging gowns. Paul walks out and says that he's going to open the door in thirty seconds, and once he opens it, they're on their own. The women start walking towards the door. In an interview, Mary says that the numbering plan went right out the window at that point. It will surprise no one to hear that Heidi has totally pushed her way to the front. The doors open, and the women speed-walk in, Heidi, MoJo, and Gretchen at the front.

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Joe Millionaire

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