Joe Millionaire
Pearl Necklace

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The Butler Did It!

In an interview, Katy, 24, a personal assistant (who is my second best friend in case I never find out the name of the redhead who thought it was horseshit), says it was like "a herd of cattle." One woman complains that the best dresses are all gone as another woman contemplates a shit-brown dress. In an interview, Paul says that gown selection brought out different characteristics in the women's personalities. In other words, some of them who had formerly been nice now become shrieking harpies. Paul is just too polite to say that. A woman screams out that something is not okay. Jen says that the color of her dress is horrendous. In an interview, Paul says that the women wanted to look good, and "it was a bit like a…pack of hungry wolves. It was, uh, rather amazing." Outside the room, Paul smiles and shakes his head. I love Paul.

The women continue to mill about. Someone insists that she needs to look in the mirror. In an interview, Heidi says that she knew it would be a free-for-all, so she immediately grabbed two gowns. In an interview, Erica says that Heidi was being a bit unfair, because there were girls who were asking who had two dresses, since they were without a dress at all because there were twenty total. In an interview, Heidi sidetalks that as girls, they all wanted to be sure that they got the best gown and were worried they'd be stuck with something not as good. Yeah, but not everybody grabbed two gowns, Ho-di. Also, when you have the figures that most of these women have, is any dress really going to look that bad? Erica walks up and asks if she can trade for one of Heidi's dresses, and Heidi refuses, loudly. In an interview, Melissa M. says that "it was Darwin's dress theory -- the obnoxious will survive." Heidi loudly announces that her underwear are up her butt right now. Then she loudly announces that her dress was made for somebody with no boobs at all. They cut in footage of the other women staring and whispering, as if they all hate Heidi. Which they probably do, but it also seems very staged. In an interview, Heidi says she's a competitive person and doesn't like to lose. Unlike the rest of us, who love losing. In an interview, Jen says that Heidi didn't play fair at all. In an interview, Zora says that some girls rushed to grab the best dress, but she didn't want to fight and didn't care if she got a crappy dress. We see Zora struggling to zip up a black velvet number. In an interview, MoJo say that the other girls could have easily walked (read: shoved) to the front of the line to get their choice, and they just weren't ambitious. Geez, maybe I should start an ambitious count too.

In an interview, Andrea laments that Zora is in a nightmare situation. Zora asks Paul if she can borrow his suit, since none of the dresses fit her. In an interview, Andrea says that Zora is "a different shape and different size." In that she looks like she eats once in a while. If I had to guess, I'd say that Zora is a size six, or possibly an eight. She's not fat at all. Zora jokes, "Empty-handed!" and laughs it off. Meanwhile, if it were Heidi or MoJo in that situation, someone's throat would have been slit by this point.

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Joe Millionaire

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