Joe Millionaire
Pearl Necklace

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The Butler Did It!

The next pair is Andrea, 24, a PC specialist, and Gretchen, 29, an account manager. In an interview, Gretchen says that with most of her boyfriends, she ended up paying for everything, so she wouldn't mind finding a rich man. Gretchen kind of looks like the love child of Ellen DeGeneres and Polly Draper. She's also wearing this necklace with a large rectangle hanging from it, and the rectangle looks like it's made of tinfoil. Gretchen says that in her apartment, there are roaches and no heat, so this chateau is like heaven.

The first groups of women enter. Paul welcomes them, and they are led to their rooms. I notice that Heidi is totally wearing a see-through black shirt with a black bra underneath. I know that's what I usually wear for a day trip through the French countryside. Dayana has on a corset-style top and low-riders, so that she has back fat hanging over the top of her butt. That's a sexy look. Someone asks if the painting on the wall is Evan's family crest, and someone else points out a painting that might be of Evan -- it's some seventeenth-century dude with the high collar and the robe, and he's all, "What is up with the back fat, bizzotch?"

Cut to Evan, who is still getting wine lessons from Paul. That Paul is magic! He greets the women and still manages to fit in some wine lessons! Paul tells Evan that part of tasting wine is getting the aroma, so you should take a sip of wine and then "suck the air over it between your teeth." Evan takes a sip and then makes a prolonged slurping noise, kind of like he's gargling with the wine. I don't know how Paul didn't fall down laughing. Evan eventually chokes and starts laughing at himself.

Back to the women. Melissa Jo is going on and on about the house. Another woman moves away from the window and knocks a lamp to the floor. Someone yells out, "You break it, you buy it!" Um, this isn't the local Wal-Mart. I don't think those rules apply here. That's one of the things that bugs me about this show. They are going to all these lengths to teach Evan how to appear rich, but it really doesn't seem like any of these women would know the difference. They're hardly from high society themselves. Paul continues to quiz Evan on the wine choices. In an interview, Erica, 32, a physical therapist, says that she could get used to living in a castle. Erica looks about forty-two. I don't mean to harp on the ages here, but every time a number appears on the screen, I burst out laughing. Two women look out the window and talk about how they could imagine getting married on the grounds.

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Joe Millionaire

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