Joe Millionaire

Episode Report Card
Kim: A+ | 336 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Ruby Necklace

Melissa gets ready for her date with Evan by applying mascara and affecting a terrible Southern accent to say that she wants to have Evan's baby. Melissa is one of those people who is really not that funny, but she probably hangs out with people who basically have no personality so she's the funniest one in the group. And she laughs hysterically at herself all of the time, which is kind of annoying. In an interview, Evan says that he and Melissa were going to cook dinner on their date, which is good because he's kind of hungry. Heh. Sometimes Evan is funny, but I'm not entirely convinced that it's intentional. Evan asks Paul what he should wear for his date, and Paul allows that it's okay to wear jeans. Evan pulls on one of the two sweaters he ever wears. In an interview, Evan says that he considers this a casual date, so he's just going to wear sweatpants and flip-flops. Okay, flip-flops are unacceptable, especially if you're a man, and especially if you're going to be near food. No one wants to look at your hammertoes while they're making a stir-fry. And Evan has some seriously ugly feet. Zora brings in a top for Melissa to wear, and points out that her boobs will stretch the shirt out. I'm not sure if they consider that a good or bad thing. Evan has ditched the sweatpants for jeans, and taken off the sweater as he heads upstairs to begin the date. Melissa is wearing the boob top mentioned earlier, and boy, is it boobtastic. She also didn't bother drying her hair and I understand that she has curly hair issues but it looks crappy and unfinished. She asks where they are going on their date and Evan says they're just going to the kitchen to cook.

Evan and Melissa head downstairs. In an interview, Melissa says that when Evan told her they were going to cook, she was like, "Oh, greeeeeat!" and she makes a face like when you open a really ugly birthday present from your aunt. In the kitchen, Melissa flirts with Paul, so maybe she doesn't really understand the purpose of this show. In an interview, Melissa says, "Like, seriously, I do not. Cook." Evan pulls some food out of the fridge. It looks like some sort of steaks or possibly pork chops. ["Here's where I started feeling sorry for Melissa, because if I were confronted with a box of steak or pork chops, I would not know what to do with them. Brown them? Seriously, I'd be at a loss unless there was a gas barbecue around, and I doubt there was one at the chateau." -- Wing Chun] In an interview, Evan says, "I don't think she's really domesticated, and not that I'm looking for a woman that's domesticated." I think Evan is confusing "domestic" with "domesticated" here. He sounds like he's discussing taking a dingo into his home or something. Evan concludes, "I can't afford fancy dinners every night, so it would be nice to be with someone that at least knows her way around a kitchen." Yeah, it's called Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Look into it.

Joe Millionaire

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