Evan asks Melissa to find him a bowl, some butter, and some garlic. In an interview, Melissa says she didn't know where anything was in the kitchen. She opens the fridge, looking for garlic. In the fridge? She says she doesn't know what it looks like. How can you not know what garlic looks like? Although I must confess that my mom always used garlic powder instead of fresh garlic, so when I tried to cook a nice meal (lasagna) for my then boyfriend, I thought a head of garlic was what the recipe called a clove of garlic. Yes, I put an entire head of garlic into the lasagna. Yes, my boyfriend ate it anyway. Yes, it tasted like baked ass. But I was twenty-two years old, and it was my first time living on my own with an actual kitchen. Anyway.

In an interview, Melissa says that she thought it was a joke, so Evan cooked everything. Melissa says that she's ready to eat as Evan slaves away over a hot stove. Melissa also could not have worn a less practical shirt for cooking -- it's got those split flappy sleeves that are just waiting to go up in flames. Melissa wanders aimlessly about the kitchen. Couldn't she, like, chop the garlic or something? You don't have to know how to cook in order to cut shit up. ["Exactly, which is why that's my job in our household." -- Wing Chun] Melissa finds the garlic and shows it to Evan, who smells it and says that they're onions. It's totally garlic. Who's the dumb-ass now? In an interview, Melissa says that the cooking was a disaster. Melissa finds some mushrooms in the fridge and suggests cooking them. Evan tells her to do that while he cooks the steak, but she doesn't know how. Paul shows up and rummages through the fridge until he finds some salad. Melissa offers to make that. Evan tells Paul to remind him to fire the chef. Ha? I don't get it. Melissa hacks away at some tomatoes like she's chopping firewood. In an interview, Melissa says that the date was not romantic at all. Evan announces that everything is almost done. Melissa asks if it looks good, and Evan says that it looks kind of burnt. I don't know what the hell he was trying to do there, but he's using about ten pans and, based on the finished product, I think he cooked each thing in its own pan. I don't know.