Joe Millionaire
Sapphire Necklace

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sapphire Necklace

Paul prepares to call out the final name. He says, "And finally." Shots of various contestants. "We have." More shots of various contestants. Pause. Pause. Pause. Another ice age comes and goes. "Melissa Jo!" Nooooo! Fucking Mojo! I swear to God she has pink eye shadow on. Heidi smirks and nods as if to say, "Yeah, I knew it." Alison looks like she's trying not to burst out laughing. Mojo beams and accepts her necklace. Evan voice-overs, "Mojo seemed to have a lot of good qualities about her. She was very nice, and sweet, could carry on a good conversation, and she's very attractive. I thought, you know, what I'm gonna do is give her a shot." What is with him giving people "a shot"? Is he the manager at the Haha Shack and they are all aspiring comedians? He's like, "Well, you got promise, kid. I can't pay you well, but I'll give you a shot." Then comes the fakiest edit ever, of Heidi saying, "Whatever." But she was clearly saying it in response to someone else and it just seemed weird and out of place. Editors, you've already established that Heidi is a bitch. When you put in fakey footage like that, it just makes me think that everything we've seen before was heavily manipulated, too. And although it probably was, stop shooting down my illusions. Evan tells the group that he hopes they had a good time and wishes them luck, and then he leaves the room.

Heidi stares after Evan, looking pissed. In an interview, Sarah says that you feel really bad for the other girls. The winners gather around and examine each other's necklaces. Paul walks in and breaks up the lovefest. He gives his good news/bad news speech again before announcing that they all need to pack their bags. The girls without the sapphires are going home, but the ones with sapphires will be spending four days in Paris with Evan. Heidi's face just falls. Oh, it is sweet. But it's kind of ruined by fucking Mojo standing next to her hopping up and down. Paul asks them to start packing immediately. Where is Alex to deliver the catchphrase, "Please leave the chateau." Dammit. The women head for their quarters.

The women pack. Heidi asks herself what she wants to wear. Then she starts grabbing clothes and speaking in French, "C'est ici. C'est ici," which means "It is here. It is here." Why is she speaking in French? And using a sentence I learned on day one of French class? Amanda apologizes to Dana for being shocked that Dana wasn't chosen. Dana says it's not a big deal. Amanda figures that Dana must want to be left alone. In an interview, Amanda says that none of them can believe that Dana's not staying. In an interview, Dana says that it's a bit of an ego blow; she wonders what the other girls have that she doesn't, and says she thinks she's too nice. In an interview, Evan says that Dana is every guy's dream, but that their personalities don't jibe because she's too passive. In other words, she doesn't have a personality. Katie talks about how pissed she is that she came all the way to France and doesn't get to go to Paris. ["Lady, you're a doctor. Take yourself to Paris." -- Wing Chun]

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Joe Millionaire




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