Joe Millionaire
Sapphire Necklace

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Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sapphire Necklace

Heidi sits on the floor in a hallway somewhere by herself and puts on her sunglasses. I think she's losing it. In an interview, Heidi says that Evan is "the most random guy [she's] ever seen in his selection of women." Heidi continues to sit on the floor alone. In an interview, Evan says he didn't pick Heidi because it "seemed like she wasn't there for the right reasons." Evan adds that the horse thing had nothing to do with it, and that he thinks she was just in it for the money. Heidi sits on the floor alone, but now she's reading a magazine. Paul walks out with a suitcase and asks if it's hers. Heidi says no, but doesn't offer any more help than that. Paul asks what her bag looks like. Heidi says it's plain black. Paul asks about the material, and Heidi launches into French again, saying, "Oui, mais c'est (yes, but it's)...the same size." I'm so baffled by her French. Paul asks if he got the right design. Heidi says, "No, it's not the design a tall," like now she's British all of a sudden? She is weird. Heidi bitches that her bag isn't in her room or any other room, but doesn't volunteer to get off her ass and find it. Paul exits. In an interview, Paul says, "It's too bad Heidi can't stay a little longer. Perhaps her French could improve." Heidi starts speaking French to herself again and my limited skills can't decipher what she said, but it's translated as, "I no have happy...You no find bread baggage." I have nothing to add to that. In an interview, Paul says that he was pleased that Evan eliminated Heidi, because he thinks she was in it for the wrong reasons. Paul concludes, "Couldn't find that bag fast enough." Hee! Heidi carries her bag out into the hallway and then complains because she somehow hurt her arm. She points to her arm and goes, "Ouch!" Shut up, Heidi.

Mojo and Zora discuss how they've never owned a sapphire before. Paul announces that the limousine is there for them. Evan and the five women walk out of the chateau. In an interview, Evan says that with five women, he'll have the chance to get to know them individually. Mojo says that Evan is a guy who has worked hard all his life, "and fortune has came his way." Could someone please pull her aside and review how to conjugate the verb "to come"? There seem to be a lot more jokes I could throw in about that, but I'm tired, so just insert your own. I'm sure it's funnier (and dirtier) than anything I could come up with at this point.

Masterpiece Theatre. Paul says that seven are gone, and he's still there, even though he didn't get a necklace. Paul says that Evan and the women will take Paris by storm, and then someone will be eliminated, but we'll have to tune in next week to find out.

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Joe Millionaire




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