Joe Millionaire
Sapphire Necklace

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sapphire Necklace

The women eat a meal together. Oh my God, what is fucking Mojo wearing? She has on a denim top with cap sleeves, except that the sleeves have been slit to show off more of that erotic upper-arm region. The neckline goes down to about her navel. She's accessorized this top with a denim patchwork scarf in her hair, tied like a headband with the long ends trailing down over her chest. Topping off the whole ensemble are giant hoop earrings. Now if she would only pocket some of the silverware, she could accurately be described by the song, "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves." Oh dear. Now they've changed to a different angle and it is revealed that the front of the shirt has tiny vertical ruffles. What is with her and the ruffles? Also, I just saw way more of Mojo's boobs than I needed to. Paul enters and says that today, the women will be going on group dates with Evan. He explains that Evan is an outdoorsman, so he suggests that the woman change into something more appropriate, since they'll be spending time outdoors. I don't know how Dayana could dress more appropriately, since she's already wearing a ski jacket. No, she really is. And it's light purple, which is pretty much the same color as the dress she bitched about last week. After Paul leaves, the women giggle and ooh and ahh in anticipation of their big dates. I'm sure they will be very romantic, because the same producers who are pulling this whole millionaire charade wouldn't possibly mislead the women as to the nature of their dates, right? Right? Ahem.

Cut to the first group date, which some onscreen text informs us will be called "The Vineyard Date." Evan has removed the second sweater and replaced it with a vest. Much better option. Evan voice-overs that the first group is Dana, Melissa, Sarah, and Brandy. In an interview, Evan says that the women are expecting romantic dates, but that he's got something else in store. Yes, I'm so sure that Evan, who could barely think up a fake middle name, came up with the date idea all by himself. He thinks candlelight dinners make it easy to hide your true motivation, and he wants to see what happens when the going gets tough and it's not so comfortable, since his life isn't filled with "creature comforts." That is true, if by "creature comforts," you mean "clothes that don't look like they could have been worn on an album cover in 1992." In an interview, Melissa says she's not outdoorsy, and that she was hoping the date would be inside. She concludes, "And it was outside!" She used a singsong voice and was so forlorn on that last word that it cracked me up.

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Joe Millionaire




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