Joe Millionaire
Sapphire Necklace

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Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sapphire Necklace

The crap-shoveling is over, and now each woman gets to choose a horse. Zora feeds her horse some hay. In an interview, Evan says that the horses they were given "looked like they were on their last leg." Hey, that's just the kind of horse I would want. At least it's not going to buck you off or take off running unexpectedly. They each mount a horse. Heidi complains that she doesn't know what she's doing because she's never ridden a horse. Wait, didn't she say earlier that she's ridden two horses and been bucked both times? Dayana prepares to mount her horse, and we see that she's wearing boots with the highest, spikiest heels ever. Those things have seriously got to be five inches high. She tries to hike herself up on her horse and, in the process, her low rider jeans shift down and show a large amount of ass crack. Now that's just unattractive. First the back fat, and now the ass crack? I am not at all saying that Dayana is overweight, because she's not. She just wears clothing that isn't appropriate for her figure or the situation. In an interview, Evan talks about Dayana's shoes, saying that they were like weapons and he felt bad for the horse.

Evan and the women ride their horses single file down a path. Evan asks if everyone is doing okay. What is that, like his pat date question? In an interview, Dayana says that she had a lot of fun riding the horses. She did? She looks terrified. Evan asks how she's doing, and she says she's doing well. In an interview, Dayana says, "I'm pretty good at horseback-riding." Cut to Dayana on her horse, nearly falling off. Heh. The horse completely stops, and Evan suggests that Dayana give the horse a kick. Then she drops the reins and asks for help. Evan gets off his horse and leads it back to Dayana to help.

Heidi senses that someone else is getting some attention, so she creates a drama in which her horse is not obeying her. All we can see is that the horse is bucking his head up and down, and I know nothing about horses, but if seems like Heidi is holding the reins too tightly and so her horse is trying to buck free. That's my educated guess based on how my dog acts when I'm holding his leash too tightly. In an interview, Evan says that Heidi started crying because her horse put his head down to graze. Heidi says she doesn't like horses. Evan assures her that everything is cool as he comes over to help. Well, I guess Heidi accomplished her mission of turning the attention back to herself. In an interview, Heidi says she has a fear of being on something she can't control. Okay, I would buy that if their date involved a rodeo or something, but this is a horse with one hoof in the glue factory. ["Also, if she doesn't like being on large, dumb animals she can't control, then her potential future with Evan...well, you see where I'm going with this, I'm sure." -- Wing Chun] Evan helps Heidi off the horse and tells her not to worry about it. In an interview, my best friend Alison says that Heidi is lying to get Evan's attention and took up an hour of the women's time. In an interview, Zora says that Evan was very sweet about it and took action immediately. In an interview, Evan says that he doesn't know if the freak-out was exaggerated. Heidi leads her horse back to the stables. If her ultimate goal was to spend more time with Evan, it looks like she screwed up, since she's going to miss the rest of the date. Then again, if they're just going to ride along single file, it's not like she's missing a big conversation. In an interview, Heidi says she knows that animals can sense fear. Whatever, Jack Hanna.

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Joe Millionaire




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