Joe Millionaire
Secrets Of The Women Of Joe Millionaire

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Secrets Of The Women Of Joe Millionaire

The first segment is a preview of Evan's choice and "the heart-stopping twist," but since I've already recapped that episode, I'm just going to skip that. Instead, we get "an explosive look" behind the scenes at the women of Joe Millionaire. Or should that be "at the women we could somehow entice into showing up because they weren't happy with their first fifteen minutes of fame."

Mastercheese Theater. Paul acknowledges that people were pissed about the previous episode, which was kind of ballsy of the producers, but what do they have to lose? It's a case of "Ask first, apologize later." Paul promises that the women have a lot to say about their time in the chateau. This leads into a montage of interviews with various women saying that "it's hard to be around twenty beautiful women" and "women tend to be catty and bitchy." I would just like to state for the record how disappointed I am in womankind lately on reality shows. From this show, to The Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes to Survivor Amazon, it seems like women have been trying their hardest to confirm every stereotype that we're catty jealous helpless backstabbers, each of whom is worthless without a man. I keep trying to tell myself that they aren't representative of all women -- they're representative of the type of woman who would go on a reality show in the first place. But would some reality-show participant please just break a sex stereotype soon, before I go insane? Be generous. Be down-to-earth. Don't whine about the hardships. Just do what needs to be done. Is that so much to ask?

Anyway, first we get to hear from Dana, the tall blonde who looks like a cross between Uma Thurman and Big Bird. She admits that the fell for Evan's story, even though she was thinking it didn't seem real. But she told herself to shut up (and there's something she and I have in common -- I have told her to shut up many times) and just went with it. Dana admits that she's drawn to tell men, and that Evan met the description. Flashback to Evan riding up to the chateau on the horse to greet the women for the first time. Dana says that Evan seemed like someone she'd like to get to know. Then there's this totally stupid timeline of Dana's life, like, was anyone staying up nights wondering where Dana was born? No, no one was. Dana was a homecoming queen, and that's why she's "such a girly girl now." Dana was surprised that she wasn't chosen to stay, especially since everyone told her she would be. She doesn't think Evan was intimidated by her beauty, which is good, because I don't think she's all that beautiful. Then again, Evan is intimidated by words with more than three syllables, so it doesn't take much. Dana thinks Evan may have been intimidated by her brain. Well, Evan doesn't have one, so maybe he was more jealous than intimidated. Dana thinks that if Evan couldn't see how great she is, then he's the one missing out.

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Joe Millionaire

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