Mastercheese Theatre. Paul says that our first set of girls is gone but not forgotten, and promises that coming up we get to check in with Alison, Melissa, and Mojo. I, for one, cannot wait.
It's time for the fairy-tale montage, which features various women saying the words "fairy tale" in interviews. Come on, this is totally a shout-out. Right? Right? Hello? Bueller? Okay, I counted, and the phrase was uttered a total of seventeen times in about two minutes. Awesome. Paul returns to say that every fairy tale comes to an end, and then introduces Alison, Melissa, and Mojo.
Yay! Alison! I know this world is killing you, but my aim is true. It's like Alison and I were meant to be best friends because "Alison" by Elvis Costello is my all-time favorite song. Anyway, Alison opens by saying that it all went terribly, terribly wrong. Oh, it did. They start playing a song that I think is from Bizet's Carmen as opposed to Beyonce Knowles's Carmen. Cut to Alison lying on a bed saying that continental breakfast is horseshit. Hee! Then there's a montage of Alison just looking disgusted in every situation she was in. Hee! They start up with banjo-picking again, in order to show Alison in Manhattan. Wuh? Alison grew up in upstate New York! I live in upstate New York! It was so meant to be. Alison says she loves the city's diversity as we see her meeting the Naked Cowboy, a busker in Times Square. Alison doesn't go out searching for love, especially since being on the show, because that didn't pan out so well. Alison says that Evan was not her dream come true, and brings up how she had no interest in him on their date. Alison didn't like how close-minded he was, especially about the food. This could be a problem in my friendship with Alison, because I'm not all that adventurous about food. But I won't whine and complain about it like Evan does! I promise! Flashback to Evan asking Alison if she thinks it's worth continuing and Alison saying that she doesn't think so. Alison says she told him what was up and she tried to make the best of the situation at the elimination ceremony, which is why she smiled. Alison she knows what she looks for in a romantic interest, but she also knows that there is no amount of money in the world that would make her want to date Evan. There's something else we have in common! Call me!