Joe Millionaire
The Aftermath

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The Aftermath

Now it's time for Evan's solo interview. And his interviewer is...Mark Walberg? From Temptation Island? I hate this guy! Evan, as usual, didn't bother dressing up and is wearing worn jeans, sneakers, and a pullover. I'm all for comfort, but it's not like he didn't know he'd be on television and might want to spiff it up. Mark asks Evan how he feels about his newfound fame. Evan says that it is a total shock, and that he can't even go into a grocery store anymore. Montage of Evan's media coverage, which was extensive. Mark brings up Evan's appearances on Live with Regis and Kelly, and we get to see some footage of one of those interviews, which I saw and was actually pretty funny because Regis kept calling him "Joe." Evan says he thought he would pass out before going on stage, and then says that he thinks Kelly is cute, and that he likes the tattoo on her ankle. Mark asks Evan what he'll do if this fame is fleeting. "If"? Maybe he should have asked what Evan will do when he's back to being a nobody, albeit one who still gets recognized in the grocery store. Evan says that it'll be like a storm came through.

Mark brings up Evan's lack of money. Evan says that he lived in a two-bedroom apartment, but he couldn't afford a bed so he slept on the couch. Okay, first of all, why not get a studio and use the extra money to buy a bed? And second of all, a futon costs less than a hundred dollars, so whatever Mr. Sob Story. Evan runs through all the jobs he's had. Mark asks what Evan's parents wanted him to do. Evan says his father just wanted him to be happy and his mother wanted him to go to college. Mark asks what his parents think about the whole thing. Evan says his mom loves it and his dad is overwhelmed.

Mark asks how the producers found him in the first place. Evan says it was through a guy he met at a Christmas party. Mark asks when Evan found out he had to pretend to be a millionaire. Evan says it was a few days before he left. It wasn't in the contract? Or did he only sign the contract a few days before he left? Evan says he hoped to just go in and be himself. He doesn't say, but the captioning continues, that he hoped the fact that he supposedly inherited the money just wouldn't come up. Hmm, I wonder why they cut that line. Did they think it would make Evan look dumb(er)? Mark tells a little story about how he felt watching Evan meet the women, like, shut up, Mark Walberg. No one cares what you think. Mark asks which woman was the biggest whiner. Evan pauses and then says that the whole world hates Heidi. We get to see a Heidi montage where she discusses her constipation issues and tries to teach the other women some French. Heidi fascinates me. She's so deluded. Mark asks if the hatred for Heidi is misplaced and Evan tries to give a diplomatic answer. Mark brings up Mojo next, and Evan replies, "Mojo and those damn hats." Shout-out! Mark reminds Evan that Mojo really liked him. Evan says that the poem bothered him and that it was too much too fast.

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Joe Millionaire

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