John Doe
Blood Lines

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Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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Blood Lines

John walks into the police station, and Frank heaves a sigh. John tells Frank the missing answers to his crossword puzzle, like that wouldn't be annoying. John says that he has a fingerprint and he wants Frank to run it through the computer. Frank says that he can't use city resources on a whim. Oh, come on. Sure he can! John tells Frank that it could be his wife. Frank picks up a folder from his desk and says, "A certain John Doe has reported himself missing in fifty precincts across the country in the last month." So John hasn't given Frank his back story either? I still don't understand why it's a secret. John says that he'll explain some other time. Frank says that he has a riddle that needs solving, and offers up "a little tit-for-tat," which has to be the dirtiest-sounding expression that's not actually dirty.

Frank leads John into the crime scene. Frank starts explaining the case, but John takes off on his own. John touches the water (which appears gray to him) as Frank explains that it's fresh blood. John sniffs his hand and keeps walking. He spots a disaffected (and I know this due to the many tiny braids in her hair) teenaged girl smoking at the edge of the yard. She gets up to walk away. John spots a scar on her arm and notes that it's the "eye of Horus." She says disdainfully that it's "just some Goth symbol." Are there really still Goths these days? John notes that the symbol was also on the cover of a Sisters of Mercy album. The girl keeps trying to walk away. John asks if she did it to herself on purpose. The girl asks if he's "some kind of private dick, or what?" John answers, "Or what," and asks if she has any theories on what happened. The girl says that it was either "A, any human being who comes in contact with my dad-hole or B, that drug-crazy screwed-up daughter of his, or C, Colonel Mustard." I think I like Disaffected Teen a lot better than Annoying Waitress. I wish she were a regular.

John inspects the security system and starts listing off the specs to Frank, like Frank cares. Frank says as much, stating that nothing John said explains how the blood got in the pool, because it's not like it just fell from the sky. John spots a garden hose and takes off. He grabs some antifreeze and starts climbing a trellis to the roof. Frank is all nervous about John's anti-establishment ways. John kneels on top of the roof and looks around. Cut to a hose that goes into the pool. The camera follows it back to the source -- a gutter. Frank realizes that John is demonstrating how the perp poured the blood from the roof, into a hose, through the gutters and into the pool. Thus, no extra blood was spilled, and the perp didn't set off the security system because he was on the roof. John says that the perp was trying to send a message, as he walks outside the yard, looking for how the perp got onto the roof. Frank points out a footprint in the dirt. John calculates that the ladder indentations reveal that the perp weighed 130 or 140, so it must have been a woman. Well, that's kind of sexist. Frank notes that it could have been "a slight man, more than likely." John traces the route the perp must have taken. He finds a leaf on top of the fence, and asks Frank what color it is. Frank tells him, and John figures out that it's "marsh bellflower," which "blooms in moist meadows and flat river plains." Frank lists off some nearby locations that fit the bill, including "Sedro-Woolley." Pickford walks out and hears the tail end of this conversation, and comments that his brother has a ranch in Sedro-Woolley. D'oh!

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John Doe

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