John Doe
Blood Lines

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
Blood Lines

A piano version of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who plays as John sketches a picture of his mystery woman. John voice-overs something about how no one knows who he is. Cut to John at the club, playing the Who song on the piano. Frank's boss comes in and watches him. I think I liked Giles's version of this song better. John finishes his song and spots Frank's boss. He sits next to her at the bar, as she compliments him on his range. John says that he's a jack of all trades, and the boss says that he has one trade too many. John starts spouting off some facts about peanuts. Man, he would be really annoying to hang out with. John further ruins the vibe by saying that the boss must have a hard time being a woman in a man's world, and that it must be even more difficult for her since people whisper about nepotism. See, I was right when I said that the picture she was looking at in the last episode was her dad. The boss gets pissed and says that she ran his Social Security number, and she knows that he's not a coal miner from Kentucky. She warns him against playing games with the police. John denies that he is. The boss spots his scar and asks if it's a chain-gang tattoo. John claims that it's a birthmark. The boss leaves. They so want each other. Mark my words. They will be kissing by February sweeps. If the show lasts that long.

Annoying Waitress lets herself into John's place, only to find that he has stacked all of his furniture against the walls in the entryway. She examines a lamp that she thinks cost more than her entire apartment (and I'm sure Gustave would know if that's true), and asks John how he got so much money. Well, there's a polite question. John says that he made a timely investment in the Zagreb Croatian Exchange, but that he's getting rid of all of his stuff because it's not Tommy. John tells Annoying Waitress that the mystery woman was wearing a silk scarf, which statistics suggest would mean she's wealthy. However, the lotion he found in her fingerprints was a drugstore variety, which would suggest the opposite. Further, she's a brunette, whom statistics show are more conservative than blondes. Um, we are? Whatever. Anyway, John thinks that his furniture is "too ostentatious" for the mystery woman, and for Tommy. Annoying Waitress walks into the apartment and sees that John has written all over the walls. Cra-zy! John runs through a bunch of statistics rapidly, and Annoying Waitress asks what meth lab he ran into last night. John says with a great deal of enthusiasm that he's getting closer to finding out the truth. Annoying Waitress tells him not to come any closer to her, and asks what's wrong with him. John asks if she wants to know the truth. Finally! He tells her, "The truth is, I don't know who I am. I'm nobody." She thinks that he means he's adopted, because she is too. John doesn't bother correcting her. She assumes he thinks that the mystery woman is related to his birth family. She's really dumb. Why would a member of his birth family, who presumably hasn't seen him since he was born (if even then) recognize him now?

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John Doe




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