John Doe

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 690 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Idaho

John comes to and finds himself lying on a cot in an entirely white room that appears to have no doors or windows, but it does seem to have a skylight in the incredibly high ceiling. Mrs. Palmer speaks to him over some sort of loudspeaker. John asks where he is, and Mrs. Palmer tells him that it's a place where he can't hurt himself, and that he can leave at anytime. John pushes on one of the walls and demands to know where he is. Um, asked and answered, counselor? Mrs. Palmer thinks that John would have developed some patience by now, and orders him to take a seat. John finally shuts up and obeys. Mrs. Palmer says that she has some answers, beginning with his name: "Thomas Crowder. Son of Henry and Caroline. Born Valentine's Day, 1971. Sweetwater, Idaho." Wait, wait, WAIT! Hold the phone, here. He's supposed to be thirty-one years old? I thought he was like forty-two. Maybe they should have picked a younger-looking actor. That took me like five minutes to process on first viewing. Mrs. Palmer intones, "John Doe, this is your life."

The lights dim, and some home movies play on the wall. Mrs. Palmer says that John was a farmer's son. We see pictures of John as a kid with his parents. Mrs. Palmer says that John was riding horses by the age of five, but then he was diagnosed with adolescent white matter disease, which attacks the brain tissue and is terminal. His parents exhausted all of their medical options, and were then contacted by Mrs. Palmer's organization, which is called The Program. They enrolled John in an experimental therapy, along with six other children with the same disease. Only three of them survived: John, Theresa from Des Moines, and Michael from Baton Rouge. The scar on John's chest is a result of the removal of a device that monitored pH levels. That's an awfully fancy scar for a surgical incision. Usually, those tend to be pretty straight lines. Over time, The Program noted some unexplained side effects in John, including "monochromatic vision, certain unexplained phobias, and a profoundly advanced intellectual development in the cerebral cortex." Aren't all phobias unexplained? Otherwise wouldn't they just be fears? We see footage of the three kids in a classroom, and also goofing around. Mrs. Palmer says that the three kids were destined to cure diseases and end starvation, until the day that John disappeared three years ago. They think that he was in a fugue state, and that his amnesia is another side effect of the treatment. Theresa and the rest had nearly given up hope. So if he disappeared only three years ago, why does the footage of him (if it is in fact him) end when he's about eleven years old? Why don't they have any footage of him as a teenager or young man?

John Doe

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