John Doe

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: B | 531 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Are You Sure This Isn't The X-Files?

They leave Doe behind. He's not a crime-scene investigator. And I know I keep harping on this, but he's not a cop either. That doesn't stop him from collecting evidence -- that's right. He spots a boot print with a paint chip embedded in its grooves, and promptly pulls said chip out of said boot print, ignoring Jamie when she tells him to leave it alone. He snaps, "Did I do something to piss you off?" She snaps back, "You are not the only guy with a brain around here!" Doe-tuition: "This is because of what I said at the hospital." Oh, he's quick! Jamie says, "Excuse me? No." Blah captain blah they'll get in trouble blah. Doe defends himself by stating, emphatically, that he needs to know what happened to Brunellas, and to him. Then Jamie screams, "You are way too invested here." She turns to a beat cop. "Will you get him out of here?" Doe goes. She screams, "And I'll need a report before shift change!" Okay. Why did they call him in the first place if they didn't want him to play Doe and do all his Doe-type things?

Doe's Speed Vision. He drives past the mysterious car parked near Digger's restaurant, just outside his house, and mysterious music plays. The car speeds off! Doe catches a glimpse of the man in the back of the car. He looks mysterious. Then Doe goes home.

John Doe HQ. A single eye, not unlike the ones Karen was painting on the walls last week (ahhh!), peers through a microscope. John examines the paint chip, because the lab at the police station just wouldn't have done a good enough job. Earth to John Doe! Oh, wait -- he might be an alien. Anyway. For the eight millionth time: You. Are. Not. A. Cop. Captain Jamie, just give him a honorary badge already. But then that would give him license to do all this stuff and sort of take away his edge. Right. Recapping. Karen, the triple threat of dumb, dumber, and dumbest, cleans up Doe's mess from last night. She asks, "What is it?" He answers, "Paint chip." She replies, "And you're obsessed with this why?" She scrubs a pot. The blood is only on the bottom; the top was clean, and the bloodstain would have pulled it off. Karen snits, "You need a maid. I had no idea this was part of the job description." Isn't she his assistant? Doesn't she bring him food all the time? Wouldn't that mean she might, once in a while, have to clean up some dishes?

John Doe

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP