John Doe
John Deux

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Ragdoll: B- | Grade It Now!
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Are You Sure This Isn't The X-Files?

Hospital Room. Frank explores some scratch marks on the floor. Then he notices the discolouration in the floor and says, "This cabinet was moved recently. Where's that?" The nurse says, "Overflow -- down the hall." Man, they hire a lot of nurses for this show. Frank gets up, and they walk down the hall to discover, of course, that the cabinet is missing. Frank looks back down toward the room. You can see the light bulbs just flashing and flashing and flashing.

Police Station. Little Ms. Technical is there with Frank, who is eating a potato chip for some reason, and John Doe. They are examining the security tapes from the hospital parking lot. You know on C.S.I. or even Law & Order where they have all kind of different technicians who each have a specialty? Yeah, that doesn't exist on John Doe. They've got one. Ms. Tech. That's it. She does everything from examine security tapes to look up DMV records. She multitasks. I suppose the Seacouver Police Department is experiencing some cutbacks. Right. The tape. Apparently, they can almost "see through metal," much to the chagrin of Frank. Ms. Tech says, "Ever heard of T-Rays?" Only if you've heard of Greased Lightning. Cars whiz by on the tape. John explains, "It's terra-hertz, electro-magnetic pulse imaging." The lasers can see freaky stuff. They mark the time the car or truck heads into the hospital and the weight of the vehicle's center axis. From this, they can deduce which load might have been heavier when it left the hospital, perhaps carrying a body in a cabinet. They come across a Ford E350 Super Duty. Frank knows the type of car. John knows the weight of the suspension -- it's heavier, and probably carrying JD2. Frank says, "Push in on that license plate." Ms. Tech does, and it comes up Washington A443621. I hope no one really owns that plate. Frank continues, "Get an address on those plates!"

John and Frank are in a trailer park. They stop the car, and both comment on the oddity of such a fancy-ass car belonging to someone living in this kind of squalor. Frank asks, "Are you sure this is it?" John: "Two-time felon Ray Brunellas, problem is, he's blind." Frank: "Now how many blind drivers do you know?" My guess? That's a rhetorical question. A neighbour drives up and sees the two men. She gets out of her car as Frank quips, "God. There's got to be a tornado looking for this dump." Because it's not his mandate to protect all citizens or anything. True, the neighbour looks nasty. She reaches in, grabs some groceries from her car, and notes, "If you're after Brunellas, he's long gone." Frank heads over to her, and she adds, "A good month or more." She closes her car door and starts over to her own trailer. Frank follows her. Today, he's Persistent Cop. Frank: "Oh, just drove his house off into the sunset." No, he's Sarcastic Cop. "Did he leave a new forwarding address?" Nasty Neighbour says, "He's the kind of guy they invented 'good' riddance for." Wow, between that and the "The Big Mistake" crack from last episode, it's my fear that the platitudes will never end. I'm in platitude hell, and no one's going to kill me like they kill Kenny. Frank's not buying her story, and both he and Doe eye the trailer suspiciously. She half-heartedly apologizes, then rushes into her house. Frank: "Fat, blind men just don't disappear into thin air." How did he know Brunellas was fat?

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John Doe

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