John Doe
John Deux

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Are You Sure This Isn't The X-Files?

Outside. Frank and Doe walk toward the car. The cop tells the non-cop that he needs to go back to "charm" school. Doe explains that Ray's computer was running a "parallel special orientation search." Frank: "Can you just talk in English for once?" Doe: "He knows something." Frank: "Then we'll get it out of him legally." They take off in the cop car. Only wait! The mysterious black car follows them!

John Doe HQ. Doe tap-taps away on his computer. We're privy to Doe-Interna-Vision. "Who are you, blind man?" Doe focuses. Brunellas's mug shot pops up on his screen. "Who do you work for? Why was that car in your name? Are you some kind of patsy for your bosses?" Flash back to Brunellas's trailer. Oh, his girlfriend's last name is Chips -- who do you think has been watching too much television? That's right -- writers, I'm looking in your direction.

Cop Shop. Frank gives Captain Jamie the lowdown. She's getting coffee, like a good female cop boss does. He tells her about Ray Brunellas. Man, that's three times now -- once at the trailer park, once via Doe-Interna-Vision, and once by Frank. How many times can we go over this? Frank adds that Brunellas is "blind as a bat and fat as an Albert." These people are obese-a-phobic. At least Frank is; he keeps bringing it up over and over. Jamie: "How does a blind man abduct a patient from his hospital bed and then drive him away." Hey. You. Yeah, we get it -- loud and clear. Our wires aren't crossed. We can see, hear, taste, smell, and feel through the fog. The blind guy, yeah -- he didn't do it. Yeah. We got that -- the first time you mentioned that he was blind. Frank responds, "The question of the hour. We're guessing that Brunellas just owned the truck, and didn't do the kidnapping himself." Captain Jamie: "Ah." Pause. "So he's got a partner." Frank: "Exactly. But partner in what is the question." Here's a clue. It's not fundraising. Frank explains to Jamie that Ray's computer was searching for men in their twenties with no medical problems. She chews on a plastic stir stick. I'm dizzy. The camera keeps spinning around the two of them. Frank: "Potential canvass?" Jamie: "Canvass for what?" Frank: "We're working on it." Well, she offers no insight. That part of the scene was pointless. They start walking. Frank says, "Doe thinks he can find a connection." Captain Jamie takes a sip of her coffee and whines, "Oh. Great." Frank asks, "What?" Jamie: "Oh. Nothing. He's just on my list right now, as opposed to --" Jamie gives him a coffee-stained stink-eye. He takes that as his cue. Right. That part of the scene had no point either.

John Doe HQ. John's busy doing his figures. Blah where'd JD2 come from blah degrees blah. He gives up for a moment and walks over to his kitchen counter. Karen's left him a puzzle. He completes it in record time. All the while, Doe-Interna-Vision blathers on about JD2, where did they take him, why did they "steal" him from the hospital. He turns on the television. It's a foreign-language show -- like a lesson on tape, only it's on air. John knows the exact translation. Which is good, because I don't even know what language they're speaking. He turns on the radio. A woman's voice says, "Can you identify this piece of music?" Doe does. More language. More Doe-Interna-Vision: "What's a blind man going to do with a man from the hospital." He turns on a second television in his kitchen, and decides to follow along with the cooking show while taking the language lesson and reciting musical identifications at the same time. Wow. He's a genius. Minutes later, pots are bubbling, the music is still going, and Jeopardy is on another television. Doe knows all the answers. He flies around the kitchen. He's like the Iron Chef, the Galloping Gourmet, and Cliff Claven all rolled into one. The soup he's making goes in the food processor. He yells more musical answers. He beats everyone on Jeopardy. Doe has a bit of an overload; even geniuses have their breaking point. He loses track of the question, doesn't know the answers, and boils over just about every pot in his kitchen. Then the phone rings. Doe says, "Hello." Pause. "I'll be right there."

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John Doe

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