John Doe
Low Art

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Low Art

John breaks into Max's loft. He asks if anyone's there and gets no answer. John goes into Max's darkroom and checks out the newly created negatives. He develops one, and it's a small picture of Max. John boots up Max's computer and manages to find a graphic file that looks just like the coroner's badge. John puts the small photo of Max next to the badge and realizes that the photo fits the opening. John flashes back to the man he saw removing Cheryl's body, and realizes that it was Max.

John tells Frank about his findings. Frank gets on the phone and orders up an APB of anything that resembles a coroner's vehicle, and a sweep of all of the parking lots within a five-mile radius of Max's loft. John notices something on the ground nearby and says they might not have to look that hard. Frank hangs up. John explains that there's corrosion in the gutters. Frank blames it on acid rain. John says that it's probably caused by a highly concentrated salt mixture -- brine that is often used to cure pork. John says that the buildings weren't always lofts. Frank says that it's the old meatpacking district. John figures out where the different parts of the meatpacking plants used to be, including the loading dock. Frank realizes that Max could've driven a truck right into the basement.

John and Frank walk around the basement with their flashlights. John points out all the different parts of the meatpacking factory, including where the pigs were slaughtered. Frank doesn't want to hear it, because "as far as [he's] concerned, bacon comes from a magical, happy place." Best line of the night. John hears dripping from condensation. Frank realizes that they've found a refrigerator that's been boarded up. Frank uses a crowbar to remove some boards, and they enter the fridge. Inside, they find the fake coroner's van, and in the back of the van is Cheryl's body. John points out that Cheryl has been gutted. Ew! Frank thinks that Max used Cheryl's body as a photography subject. John says that actually, Max used Cheryl's body to get the diamond out of the museum without anyone seeing it. I kind of wish they hadn't had John say that yet, because up until that point, I had no idea where in the hell this was going. But as soon as John said that line, I pretty much figured out the rest of the episode. Except the cancer. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

John examines the body at the coroner's office. What, now they're just letting him do autopsies? Seems like you're asking for a lawsuit there. Of course, with his legal expertise, I'm sure John could avoid a jail sentence. Winona Ryder wishes she hired him. Frank catches the viewers up by asking if the woman swallowed the diamond. John points out that she has tongue abrasions from the diamond. The coroner returns and asks John if he's taking over. Frank theorizes that Max had Cheryl at gunpoint hidden behind the sculpture. Frank thinks that Max handcuffed Cheryl, made her swallow her the ring, and then killed her. The coroner says that Cheryl was about to die either way. She and John discuss Cheryl's condition in medical terms until Frank makes them explain in English; Cheryl had advanced stomach cancer and "three weeks to live, tops." John tells Frank to call Stella and get her to cue the security tapes.

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John Doe




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