Of course, inside she finds John Doe's Secret Lair, resplendent in all its geek glory. There are maps, many many maps. There are charts detailing colour blindness. There are computers, monitors, and lamps, oh my. Karen is still talking to Non-Colin. She goes over and investigates a gerbil-cage-looking glass aquarium with a blue light. Of course, John walks in and says, "I thought we agreed this room was off limits." Then he fires her. Okay, he doesn't fire her. She abruptly cuts short her mesmerizing conversation with Colin and hangs up the phone. John says, "Not a great first week on the job, Karen." Okay, he needs an assistant, but he doesn't want her in the room that contains all of the stuff that she could be assisting him with? Of all the maps, charts and diagrams, it's the list of likes and dislikes that fascinates the kinder-brain of Karen. "Whoa," she says, "you write down things you like?" John explains that it's a memory device he finds useful. Still stunned by the chart (because spicy hot dogs and driving fast are so "shocking"), Karen whisper-says, "Yeah, well, most people don't have to remember, they just know." Karen remains just as stunned by his chart entitled, "Friends." No, Courtney Cox-Arquette is not at the top of list. John lists Karen Kawalski, Digger, and Frank Hayes as his "Friends." John tries to rush her out of the room once again, but Karen's not budging. Apparently, the "Friends" list was enough for her to think the room is all way too "psycho-killer freako" for her. John looks tortured. "Where did you come from exactly?" she asks. He looks over to the map of Horseshoe Island. Well, nothing gets past Karen; she rushes over to the map on the other side of the room. Wow, this woman is beyond annoying. She asks, "This is where you're from?" John responds, "I don't know. I have no idea how I got there." She bolts across the room as he tries, yet again, to get her out of there and off the topic. He says he doesn't want to talk about it. She says, and I quote, "Well, tough ta-tas." Yes. "Ta-tas" has now entered the everyday lexicon of the Fox Network -- shame on you.
Now, after about sixteen useless passes over the obvious, Karen finally gets to the incredibly long and drawn-out point: "Are you saying you have amnesia but seem to know everything about everything else?" Blah his mind, blah a computer, blah he's a fountain of knowledge blah. Then he throws out some crazy facts just to prove that he's a motor-brained genius, in case we didn't get it already. That's right. In case we'd never read a description of the show, watched an episode. or hell, ever heard of a character called Jason Bourne -- I mean "John Doe." Yawn. Karen calms down and asks about John's Sign. She says, "Does it hurt?" He says, "No. It was just there." Then John asks, "Karen, can I trust you with this?" Now, if this were a soap opera, of course within seconds John's secret would be broadcast over the local television network, causing a scandal and massive amounts of job loss. She says, "Um, yeah, sure." I don't know, but I'm not too convinced she's not going to blab everything to Non-Colin, the phone friend from a town called Contrived. Before they have time to further discuss John's very special situation, Karen bolts, claiming that she's got to get to art class. Oh great -- a peasant-blouse-wearing, secret-door-snooping hippie art major is now privy to the inner workings of John Doe's HQ? Someone had better alert the Pentagon.