John Doe

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!

John voice-overs that he could relate to Jenny, who must be feeling lost and alone. He wonders where he came from yet again, like, this is already starting to get a little tired. John says that it was a clear day with no unusual meteorological occurrences. There were no UFO sightings, no distress calls, and no missing persons reported that matched his description. He did some research on his scar symbol, and found "an Egyptian hieroglyph from 29 BC" that was similar, as well as the logo for "a defunct Asian publishing house." John wonders if it's a birthmark, or a branding. He thinks that Jenny might be able to show him the way.

John voice-overs some information about the coin token that he found on the locker room floor. He gives a lot of details, but basically all you need to know is that he found out the token is used in a certain brand of washing machine located in hotels and motels. He goes through the phone book and asks for the model number on their washing machines. Like the desk clerks don't have anything better to do. He finally hits on the right one, and jots down the address, then takes off.

John shows up at the motel, and the desk clerk confirms that the token is one of theirs. Okay, seriously? The desk clerk looks like the same kid who was in the library, and then at the sausage vendor. But with a haircut. I don't think it's the same actor or anything -- they just look similar. John asks if the clerk has seen a purple Impala around. The clerk saw one parked outside Unit 12 yesterday.

John picks the lock on Unit 12 and enters the room. He searches under the beds, in the closet, and in the bathroom. He removes the drain trap from underneath the sink and sniffs it. Ew. He comments that it smells medicinal. He empties the contents into a cup. Again, ew. He studies it, and then sniffs it again.

Frank informs his boss that a lady who lives across the street from the school reported a black van idling outside her house two days in a row, and says that he's running the plates right now. Back at the motel, John rubs his fingers on the outlet. Meanwhile, Frank pulls a report off the printer and yells out that the owner of the van has a record, which includes lewd conduct involving a minor. You'd think that the first thing the detectives would have done would be to verify the whereabouts of all registered sexual offenders in the immediate area. John searches through a dumpster, and comes up with a cigarette butt. He sniffs it and declares that it's Swiss. A SWAT team busts down a door to a house and starts clearing the rooms. In a back room, they come across the suspect, and he has a gun. The SWAT team members shoot to kill. Later, Frank and his boss check out the suspect's walls, which are covered with pictures of young girls. A SWAT team member enters the room and says that there is no sign of the girl in the house. John calls Frank at that moment and says that he tracked the kidnapper to a motel on the west end, and that the kidnapper uses an overseas electrical adapter and smokes Swiss cigarettes. Frank informs John that they already got the kidnapper. John says that the desk clerk saw the Impala. Frank points out that there is more than one purple 1970 Impala in the city. There is? That's just sad. Frank tells John that he's way out of his league, and that the perp is dead. John asks quietly if they found Jenny. Frank admits that they haven't yet. John says that they won't, because they got the wrong guy. But we don't have to feel too bad, because the dead guy was a sleaze. I like how they worked that in there, lest we think that the cops killed an innocent guy or something. God forbid we add that level of moral complexity to a television show.

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John Doe




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