John Doe
The Mourner

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The Mourner

A person wearing gloves cuts articles about crime out of the paper while watching a tape of John's appearance on America's Most Wanted. Glove Man (they don't reveal the person's gender yet, but let's just cut to the chase) pauses the tape and then uses a marker to outline John's head on the screen, which is kind of funny, but also a good way to ruin a television. So clearly, Glove Man is crazy. The outline of John's head looks a great deal like Charlie Brown's. Glove Man uses the marker (pressing really hard so that it squeaks a lot) to scribble inside the outline until John's face is covered with red magic marker. As bored as I get with this show at times, I've never been tempted to do that. Yet.

Glove Man walks through John's darkened apartment building using night vision goggles. He breaks into John's apartment and enters the office, where a computer displays John's mug shot. Glove Man walks over to a cookie jar and takes one out, then eats it. Crumbs drop on the floor. Um, that's a really good way to get ants, dude. He passes a chessboard and removes the queen. He does a little soft shoe, and then walks into the bedroom, where John is sleeping. Glove Man traces the scar on John's chest. How could you not wake up during that? John must be a seriously sound sleeper. I'm a pretty deep sleeper, and I think I would wake up if someone even entered the room. Also, with all of the money John dropped on his furnishings and such, he doesn't have an alarm system or anything? Glove Man takes out a digital camera and snaps a picture of John's chest. Perv.

The next morning, Frank and Lt. Bosslady arrive at a crime scene. Lt. Bosslady begs Stu (Stu!) to tell her that this killing is unrelated. Stu says that the victim was a petite brunette who worked as a driver for Night Rider Limo. What a cheesy business name. Unless the limousines actually talk. Then it would be cool. Stu says it's the same M.O. as the previous killings, so they must have a serial killer on their hands. Stu says that the victim was killed within the hour. Frank says that at least they are getting closer, but Lt. Bosslady can't be placated, because she's afraid the story is about to go national. No mention of hoping to prevent other innocent people from dying, though. Frank says that the killer left behind another pink envelope, and hands it over. Lt. Bosslady asks if the cryptologist has been able to figure out what the symbol on the envelope means. Frank says they have no idea. Lt. Bosslady studies the envelope, which, of course, bears the same symbol that is on John's chest.

John poses like Rodin's The Thinker as Karen sculpts him. John complains about how long he's had to hold the pose. There's a knock at the door. Karen runs over and lets Frank in. John seems embarrassed that he was posing shirtless, which is weird, because why was he posing shirtless, but wearing pants? Was that some sort of compromise that he and Karen reached? Because if memory serves, the subject of the original is completely naked. I don't know. Karen realizes that Frank and John need to talk, so she says she needs more clay and leaves. And thus ends the Karen portion of the program, thank God. Frank tells John that they have a serial killer. John has already heard about the killer, who has been dubbed The Mourner due to his penchant for leaving sympathy cards in pink envelopes at the crime scene. Frank says that they are stuck until they find another corpse with a pink envelope. Frank shows John the symbol written on all of the envelopes. John looks at the symbol and stammers that he doesn't understand, but doesn't remind Frank that he has the same symbol on his chest. Frank, oblivious, says that the envelopes contain clues, and shows one to John that says "1857 R Thomas 23." John searches his brain for a connection, and comes up with "Reginald Thomas." Frank says that name isn't on his list of suspects. John explains that Reginald Thomas was the original architect of the Seacouver sewer systems, and that 23 refers to the number of the sluice gate near Lake Union. Frank says that they've got the location, but now they need a day and time. Frank thinks that 1857 might be military time, which translates to 6:57 PM. John realizes that's the time that Gate 23's valves open and fill the outflow tunnel. I've stopped trying to nitpick what John does and doesn't know, because clearly the answer is that he does know what is convenient for the plot, and he doesn't know anything else. Frank and John run out.

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John Doe

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