John From Cincinnati

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: A- | 492 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Shaun Gone! Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

So Tina's at the beach now, where she's found Linc mid-jog. We get a repeat of the Shaun-isn't-with-you?-why-is-he-missing? song-and-dance number, only this time with Tina blaming herself. "I shouldn't have come down here," she snipes. Linc pooh-poohs that notion, while simultaneously leaping into find-the-boy mode. It's a rare man that can offer comfort while simultaneously marshalling a vast army of flunkies to do his bidding -- hold on to him tight, Tina.

Oh good -- it's Dwayne. We all know what plot-stopping fun he brings to the party. Though in fairness, this time he's gotten what appears to be another message from John, and, unlike last week, we don't have to wait half the episode to get clued in on the big secret. It's another one of those stick figure drawings, only this time, the larger stick figure is accompanied by a slightly smaller one. (John and Shaun?) Also, the larger stick figure appears to have a small semi-circle in the chest area, giving the appearance of a slight bulge. (Zippy stuffed in a pocket? Some sort of man-boob?) "It's conceivable this is meant to be reassuring," Dwayne offers. "The last tape showed on figure on the sheet behind Butchie's friend, and Butchie's friend said, 'Shaun will soon be gone.'" Excellent recap so far, Dwayne -- would you like to handle the rest of this week's gig? "This tape shows two figures on the sheet," Dwayne continues, "and no speaker. Assume one of the figures is Butchie's friend, the other is Shaun...and both are now gone...that's a confirmation of the previous message." Jerri, who's been pacing behind Dwayne during this summation, doesn't find that particularly reassuring, unless you were trying to reassure her that John's some sort of sadistic creep, because she would be totally on board with that hypothesis. While Dwayne and Jerri engage in a spirited debate over John's intentions -- and where is the debate over the Zippy-shaped man-boob-like bulge, I ask you? -- Dickstein knocks on the glass door to the café. "It's me, Meyer Dickstein," he helpfully shouts through the door, even though he is plainly visible. Jerri agrees that Dickstein's being something of a dip: "Don't I fucking know who you are?" she asks. "And doesn't that sign at your balls say 'Closed'?" Right on both counts -- but Dickstein is adamant. He had a dream he was supposed to come to the café, you see. I had a dream I was supposed to take my eighth-grade chemistry test that I didn't study for; I guess both of us are going to be disappointed. At this point, Cissy storms in, ignoring the "Closed" sign at Dickstein's balls and shoving him out of the way for good measure, to tell Jerri that Shaun's gone. "We know," Dwayne says, his eyes riveted to the computer screen.

John From Cincinnati

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