Previously, on John From Blue Ash: John goes to great lengths -- even to taping a video -- to let us know that "Shaun will soon be gone." Now what do you suppose he meant by that? Eh. Probably nothing. I'm sure it's the last we'll ever hear of it.
Credits. Let's go disappearing now. Everybody's learning how. C'mon and go vanish with me.
We begin as a particularly shaky handheld camera makes its way up what is a decidedly non-Imperial-Beach-based shoreline -- the lack of hypodermics strewn in the sand is your giveaway -- until we arrive where some old dude is sitting, meditating. Wait a minute...can it be...that's Howard Hesseman. Howard Hesseman who played Dr. Johnny Fever. Howard Hesseman who played Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP Cincinnati, making him the first actor ever to pull off the coveted Cincinnati-in-the-show-title double-player. I feel like we need to stop the show right now to hold a brief ceremony. The only thing cooler than this would be if Bailey Quarters and Dr. Venus Flytrap were there, too.
Meanwhile, morning has broken in the Yost household. Good morning, living room. Good morning, Shaun's wetsuit hanging up in the tub. Good morning, Cissy going to check on Shaun. Good morning, bed indentation where Shaun used to be lying but isn't now. Good morning, Shaun's juggling balls and skateboard. Good morning, skateboard helm...wait, go back. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Shaun was nowhere to be found in that room -- as if he were once here, but now gone. Wow, if only someone had tried to warn us about that somehow. Like in a video. Ah well -- spilt milk now.
So, did your household have a "How will Cissy react to this?" betting pool? If you had "scream 'Shaun! Shaun!' in an increasing frantic and high-pitched manner until the lines 'He's gone! My God!' are delivered in a frequency only dogs can hear," then please collect your bets. By now, Cissy has run outside, where her shrieks have woken Palaka, who was reclining outside in a lawn chair. He leaps to his feet and strikes the sort of karate poses that Elvis used to smite smart-mouthed college boys in movies like Roustabout and Spinout. Bill and Freddy also stagger groggily out of their cars. "Kai," Cissy screams into her cell phone, "Shaunie's gone." He's not the only one -- Bill goes to pull Zippy's cage out of the back seat of Freddy's rental, and that's empty, too. OK, Monad -- fun's fun with the kid and all, but when Zippy goes missing, you've made a powerful enemy, friend, and one with a long memory to boot. Ask the people at Top Design what happens when you cross me. "What's Top Design?" you ask? Exactly.