John From Cincinnati
His Visit: Day Eight

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Mr. Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Shaun Gone! Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Mitch and Dr. Johnny Fever are walking into Mitch's clubhouse, and I like to imagine that the dialogue before this scene began was Mitch saying something along the lines of, "Boy, I can't wait to show you this room. I really have these cool knickknacks hanging around, and I'll think you'll really get a kick out of it." Because when he opens the door and sees how trashed the place is -- Cissy's handiwork, remember? -- the look on his face is A-1 comedy gold. Oh, Mitch -- I chuckle at your displeasure. "This place is not nearly so cool as I had been led to believe," Dr. Johnny's expression seems to say. No it is not, my friend. By the way, the elephant cage where John's been hanging out lately? Visible from Mitch's little hangout. Thought you might like to know that.

Just then, Cissy pulls up. Well, this should be a fun reunion. I should mention that my idea of "fun" includes Rebecca DeMornay screaming. Mitch descends from his clubhouse and walks down the driveway to meet her; he can't even get a syllable out before she tries to belt him with an errant right roundhouse. And hello to you, too, honey. Dr. Johnny Fever stands around awkwardly while Mitch and Cissy wrestle. "That's that fucking chemist, isn't it?" Cissy shouts, mid-tussle. A simple "long time, no see" would probably be much more polite. Anyhow, Cissy stops cursing at Mitch long enough to inform him that Shaun has been taken. Mitch is all, what, huh, how? Eventually his obtuseness causes Cissy to resume screaming at him and storm off, so Mitch looks at Dr. Johnny Fever and excuses himself to go deal with this latest domestic disturbance. Dr. Johnny is left standing in the yard with a "For all this drama, I better start seeing some goddamn levitating and soon" expression.

In the sanctity of the Yost kitchen, Mitch and Cissy resume their spirited exchange of views. Cissy, who was quite perturbed by Mitch's questioning about how intensely she searched for Shaun, insists that she's looked, "we've looked, everybody's looking who hasn't been soul surfing in Baja with Captain Crunch." Me, I would rather go soul-surfing in Baja with Count Chocula and Franken Berry, but different folks, different breakfast cereal preferences. Mitch asks Cissy to walk him through it. Walk him through what? Everything, Mitch asks. "Why?" Cissy demands. "What the fuck are you going to do about it?" She punctuates this rhetorical question by shoving the table into Mitch's knee -- ow! That's my wrecked-by-surf-injuries knee! "Maybe I can help," Mitch fires back, angrily flipping over the table. There's a first time for everything, I suppose. While all that's going on, Captain Crunch...er...Dr. Johnny Fever...uh...The Chemist grabs a rake from the yard and heads up the stairs to Mitch's clubhouse for some much-needed tidying. Looks like someone else besides Ramon believes in the restfulness of raking.

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John From Cincinnati

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