John From Cincinnati
His Visit: Day Eight

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Mr. Sobell: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Shaun Gone! Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Meanwhile, Mitch is still getting brought up to speed on all that's happened while he was away. Video -- check. Message about Shaun's imminent disappearance -- check. Black curtain -- uh, why's that important, Mitch asks. "He looked like a fucking raghead," Cissy shouts. "He was a wearing a burnoose?" Mitch asks, fairly stupidly. "What's a burmoose, asshole?" Cissy spits back at him. Move over, Burns and Allen -- there's a new husband and wife comedy team for the Aughties and it's Mitch and Cissy. ("Say goodnight, Cissy." "Fuck you, fuckface." Laugh track.) Anyhow, Mitch is trying to follow along: "Bill questions him," Cissy exclaims. "Freddy questions him. The bitch brings him back from the dolphin tank. Everything looks like it's all right. Linc signs Shaun to a contract..." Who signed who to a what now, Mitch shouts -- Cissy kicks him in the knee again. And now Shaun's gone. And now, finally, everyone knows where we are in the plot. "You know, if Freddy talked to John," Mitch says, "either John told him what's going on, or he's in pieces in a freezer someplace." Yes, that's probably a true assessment of Freddy's investigative powers. When Cissy points out that John walked out of the room covered in blood but not worse for wear in any other way, Mitch excitedly concludes that John must have supernatural powers. "Really? You think so, Mitch?" Cissy asks sarcastically before I can do it. "And it's obviously part of something that's bigger than he is, Cissy," Mitch says. "If you remember, I went up in the air." How could we forget, since someone keeps mentioning his spooky levitation experiences at every opportunity?

After Cissy lets him know about the second video, there's some more hilariously hateful interplay ("Any message?" "I just said there was another fucking message!" Laughter and applause), Mitch does something totally unexpected -- he offers to help handle the police and the press. Yeah, but don't you hate interacting with other people, Mitch? He does. But some things -- like his grandson's disappearance -- are more important than his precious comfort zone. "I'm just saying give me the weight," he pleads. "That's all I'm saying. I'm here. Let me take it." Cissy looks like she's about to cry. She takes another drag on her cigarette instead.

Speaking of great married comedy couples, let's check in on Freddy and Palaka, who are back in their room at the Snug Harbor. "Tell me what you see," Freddy demands. Palaka considers the question, and then he tentatively replies, "You." Not really what Freddy was looking for, pal -- he meant the goings-on outside. Well, nothing -- Ramon, Dr. Smith, and Cunningham have gone into the bar. Or as Palaka calls them, "The Mexican, the doctor, and the homo." Fans of the late-lamented sketch comedy show The State -- probably just me, I'm guessing -- will be forgiven if they started happily singing the theme song to the "The Jew, The Italian, and the Red-Haired Gay" sketch (sing it with me now: They all live together on Avenue A/We each see the world in our own way...). Freddy interrupts my State reminiscing by ordering Palaka to find out what's going on. Just as Palaka is trying to piece together how it might do that -- take your time, Palaka, we've got all afternoon -- Dickstein pulls up. Palaka sees an opening and shouts out that Ramon, Cunningham, et al are in the bar; later, he can go over and ask Dickstein if he got in all right. Or, you could have offered to show him where everyone was and saved yourself a lot of time and trouble. But your plan is...somewhat viable. Freddy has a better idea: "Ask him what happened to my bear." Yes, you seem like the guy who would care about such things -- no one will ever suspect.

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John From Cincinnati

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