Or not. Definitely not. Because not one scene later, John's standing in front of Cissy's kitchen window while she's staring at the gun, thoughts of suicide visibly on her mind. "Cissy Yost!" John says, and those thoughts have turned to homicide, judging by how quickly Cissy reaches for that handgun. "Are you sitting in your kitchen on 7th Street, thinking about blowing off your head with your gun you got back from Kai's trailer?" John intones, in the manner of that flooring commercial he was listening to earlier. "Have you completely run out of whatever let you put up with your asshole husband for thirty-one years? Do you feel that everything you ever touched in your entire life, you turn to shit and mud? Are you ashamed, Cissy, that once, when Mitch was on one of his bullshit retreats and you were loaded on acid, and Butchie was thirteen and he had just won his first contest and you were so proud of him for not being Mitch and you went into his room and he was whipping his skippy and you said, 'Let me show you how to do that'?" Okay, that's probably the most disturbing run-on sentence I've ever heard. Also, it explains a lot. Also, also: yuck. To illustrate his point, John makes the international symbol for jerking off; Cissy gasps and covers her mouth. John speeds up his motion; Cissy grabs the gun and pulls the trigger several times. The gun clicks, but there are no bullets in the chamber -- stupid Kai practicing stupid gun safety at a time like this. "Have you wanted to kill yourself every day since, Cissy," John continues, "and not even known it? And turned yourself into the worst ball-buster known to man so that no one would be with you and you wouldn't have to be afraid that you would ever do something like that again? That's how ashamed of yourself you were?" Cissy's sobs seem to indicate that the answer is yes. "Do you think now that Shaun, who you loved so much and tried to make a life for, now you turned around and hurt his feelings so bad? Do you hurt so bad, that you just want it to quit and be over? Everything?" Now Cissy is nodding. "Well, let me tell you about our offer, Cissy," John says brightly. Unless it involves her not screaming anymore, John, I have to say, I'm not interested. "We prefer you don't," John continues. "We wish you wouldn't." Cissy -- John does not speak for all of us. "Our offer is, keep going," John says, "feeling just as miserable or worse. Hold the gun under the spigot and turn the water on. Spare Shaun finding you dead in the kitchen, and as a bonus, you'll also receive his love. Act now, Cissy. Baptize that fucking pistol." And Cissy does. When she looks up from the sink, John is gone. I think she should have held out for improved flooring.
John From Cincinnati
Episode Report CardMr. Sobell: B | 551 USERS: B-
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John From Cincinnati