At the luxuriously barren beachfront apartment of Barry Cunningham, Dickstein is making sure that the Mega-Millions Lottery champ does not have a second firearm he's been keeping under wraps. He does not, "against the advice of Pete's Pistol Hut." Dickstein asks whether Cunningham thinks he will be a danger to himself; Cunningham insists he does not. Dickstein wonders if Cunningham surfs; Cunningham scoffs -- he does not. He does, however, drink his wine out of flowery paper cups while sitting cross-legged on the carpet of his unfurnished apartment. And with that, Dickstein bids Cunningham adieu.
Family beach trip! It's all the Yosts plus John plus Bill -- looks like John's going to get that surfing lesson, after all. Butchie wants to know if maybe John exaggerated his skill with the surfboard a little bit and may have never been on a board; John admits that he did, though it's impossible to tell whether this is a genuine admission or just that "I'll repeat what you just said in a sing-songy cadence" thing of his. Rather than abandon what he sees as his cash-rich, sense-poor meal ticket, Butchie cooks up a scheme -- they'll paddle out to surf, but then John will fake like he has a leg cramp. Then they'll paddle back in and nobody will be any wiser. "How does that sound to you, John?" Butchie asks. "That sounds, Butchie," John says. It certainly does, weirdo. It certainly does.
As Butchie, John, and Shaun head into the water -- John is trying to walk in backwards, incidentally -- Cissy observes, "Just when you think he's run out of doofuses..." But Mitch has other things on his mind -- specifically, why Bill and Shaun happened to be out for a drive. They wouldn't have been on their way to Huntington for a surfing competition when that flat tire hit 'em, huh, wifey? "He was," Cissy says, without a trace of hesitation or regret. "I asked him to." Mitch notes that he specifically forbade any competition-related trips up to Huntington. Cissy sighs: "Maybe this is the time we admit we don't have a perfect marriage." Oh, you think so? Really? Anyhow, Mitch tells Cissy he doesn't have a brain tumor after all -- it's just a case of surfer's ear, he says. You can tell from his face that he doesn't exactly believe that, but it probably sounds a whole lot better than "a bad case of the freaky supernatural powers."
Hey, speaking of freaky things, let's pay one last visit to our good friend, Barry Cunningham. He's currently engaged in a very serious heart-to-heart talk with his teddy bear. "Do you surf, Teddy?" he asks the bear sadly. It turns out the bear does, but only after Cunningham picks it up and moves around its limbs to approximate surfing moves before flinging it to the floor. "Teddy," Cunningham says, "you wiped out." And you know, in an hour of what-the-hell television, that little segment there may have been the what-the-helliest.