John From Cincinnati
His Visit: Day One

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Mr. Sobell: C | Grade It Now!
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Hang Ten, Cocksucker!

Speaking of Shaun's surfing aspirations, we cut to the Yosts' surf shop, where Mitch is watching his grandson's "Sponsor Me" video and trying to determine just how heavily involved Rebecca De Mornay (Grandma Yost, or Cissy to you and me) was in this whole project. In particular, Mitch is a bit aghast that a tape was sent to Dylan McKay -- his character is named Linc, apparently -- who is "the bastard who helped turn Butchie into the ditch-sleeping doper shitbird he is today." "Shaun doesn't have to be Butchie," Cissy offers, which, as far as rebuttals go, sounds an awful lot like, "It's possible this punch to the gonads might not hurt nearly so much this time." Into this scene of domestic bliss comes the subject of the argument, Shaun himself, who's just in time to watch his grandparents seethe wordlessly at one another. Soon, a dirty-blonde surf-shop employee named Kai strolls in, and after a brief exchange of pleasantries, we're back to the wordless seething. Finally, Mitch shoos Shaun and Kai out of the room -- he apparently prefers to seethe in a more verbal manner. Mitch says that Shaun won't be entering any competitions today, and if that means Mitch has to personally drive up to Huntington Beach and tear up the permission slip, that's what he'll do. "What happened to Butchie is not happening to Shaun," Mitch declares. "I understand," Cissy sneers. "The kahuna has spoken." Well, issue solved then, right? Anything else on anyone's mind? "Also, I've got fucking cancer," Mitch declares. "Right here in my brain." And then he strolls out of the surf shop. Well, he's taking that diagnosis fairly well.

With Mitch gone, Cissy springs into action. She goes to the back room where Shaun and Kai are playing checkers and dispatches Shaun to a neighbor's house, with instructions to pretend Cissy hopes that the neighbor can drive him up to the surfing competition. There's an elaborate set of instructions about making sure that the neighbor turns in the accident and liability waiver for the competition, which leads me to conclude that Cissy was not the least bit serious about agreeing to Mitch's declaration. That seems like a mean thing to do to a guy who's just discovered he's got brain cancer.

Because we haven't had any scenes with repetitive, meandering dialogue for a while, let's cut back to Vietnam Joe's van as it speeds down the back roads of San Diego County. Upbeat Morrissey is sticking his head out the window like a very contented Labrador. "Some things I know, and some things I don't," Upbeat Morrissey repeats in that increasingly sing-songy way of his. "Tell me something you know," Vietnam Joe says with a lot more patience than I'm feeling at this precise moment. "The end is near," Upbeat Morrissey says. Ah, yes -- the other thing he keeps repeating. And "Mitch Yost should get back in the game." So now we've covered the hat trick of lines for Upbeat Morrissey in this scene. Anyhow, the long and the short of it is that Vietnam Joe may not know who Mitch Yost is, but he's sure familiar with Butchie Yost -- he'll drop off Upbeat Morrissey there. And that's all you need to know about this scene, apparently. Oh, and also that there are some things Upbeat Morrissey knows and some things he doesn't. Also, the end is near. Thought you'd be interested in hearing that.

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John From Cincinnati

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