John From Cincinnati
His Visit: Day Six

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Mr. Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Are You There, God? It's Me, Weirdo

Bill is reading from his book now: "'I know I am getting better and stronger when...I can be alone at home, even when the person who died is no longer there.'" He turns to his birds and shrugs: "Where else am I going to be?" "'Memories of the person who died make me smile, not cry,'" Bill continues, adding, "Well, that one's easier said then done. 'I laugh at my friends' stupid jokes.' I don't have any friends." Well, you do have John looming in the background of your home, Bill, which frankly is kind of creepy. But Bill is too engrossed in reading: "'I make stupid jokes.' Well, I try to amuse the kid. I mean, I'm not a comedian." You're selling yourself short, Bill.

The drummers keep drumming, as we go to the Snug Harbor Motel, where workers have finished pouring concrete into the shuffleboard court. The Three Wise Guys -- Dickstein, Ramon, and Cunningham -- are signing their names into the concrete. Dickstein adds a circle-and-line stick figure. "What's that?" Ramon asks. "Don't know," the lawyer replies. Oooh -- deeply symbolic. Or kinda leaden and hokey. Although, who says it can't be all of those things? Ramon blasts a celebratory tune on a horn -- in the background, John appears, mimicking the horn-blowing motion. He sure is making the rounds in the closing moments of this episode. "Shape changer," Freddy mutters. Palaka is lying in bed -- much improved! -- flipping through supermarket tabloids: "If they weren't looking to embarrass the poor girl, they'd blur her out when her dress came up," he says. And that, friends, is how Britney Spears made her inadvertent John From Cincinnati cameo.

And in her hotel room, Cass is crying. I'd say it's because she's watching her own film, but she looks sort of happy about it. Maybe it all finally came together to reveal some great universal truth, though considering who's putting the film together, I'd say that's highly unlikely. Anyhow, John's standing there, too, hovering behind her so that when she gets up out of her chair and backs up, she backs right into him. Instead of being freaked right the hell out, as you or I might be, she smiles and happily hugs John. She isn't smiling for long: "Shaun will soon be gone," John says. Bummer, man.

But before he's gone, Shaun is going to do some surfing with his dad. "How much is that worth?" Linc observes from the pier as Shaun and Butchie make their way to the surf. They're joined by John, who is like some supernatural MaidenForm Lady -- that cat gets around. "The big money is staying in escrow," Linc continues, "for whoever can tell me what the fuck is going on." Don't look at me, man. I'm just the stenographer.

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John From Cincinnati

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