The embodiment of pure, concentrated evil that is Luke Perry uses his prince-of-darkness mind powers on Mitch and gets the head of the Surfin' Yosts of Imperial Beach to agree to let young Shaun compete in that surf competition up in Huntington after all. Because it's what Shaunie wants. Plus -- Luke Perry? Pure evil.
Meanwhile, Butchie and John's Semi-Excellent Adventure continues with a furtive trip down to the pier to buy drugs and a much more successful visit to a local liquor mart to see just how much Chivas Regal one can buy before maxing out John's platinum card. Their joy is short-lived, however, when they meet up with Butchie's drug connection Freddie, who just flew in from Hawaii, and boy are his arms tired. Not too tired to slug Butchie, though, and throw in a right-cross to John's face as well -- the later punch occurs just before a earthquake that hits the entire Imperial Beach area. Coincidence? I think not.
Shaun probably doesn't care if it's a coincidence or not. All he knows is that the earthquake knocks him off his surfboard in the middle of the Huntington competition, causing him to fall and break his neck. He's breathing only through the intervention of machines, and the doctors say he's all but brain dead. All that's left is to figure out how to divvy up his organs, until Bill stops by the hospital with the bird Shaun raised from the dead last week. The bird appears to return the favor this time out, pecking Shaun on the cheek and causing his eyes to open just as we go to the closing credits.
Elsewhere, Barry Cunningham tries to confront his demons in Room 24 of the run-down motel and spends the rest of the episode ranting incoherently. Bill spends the majority of the episode in his own house ranting incoherently. John is as coherent as ever -- which is to say, not very -- as he spends this episode learning the particulars about going No. 2. Truly, it's not TV, it's HBO, though at this rate, I think TV is looking more and more appealing.
Previously on John From Covedale: Evil Dylan McKay wants young Shaun Yost to turn professional. His grandfather, Mitch, is opposed to it; his father, Butchie, is indifferent, as it does not involve heroin. A mysterious figure with magical pockets and capable only of parroting what other people say to him shows up -- that's your title character, ladies and gentlemen. Good luck.
Opening credits: Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world…what on account of your sudden, unexplained powers of levitation.
Our episode opens with Mitch Yost surfing in solitude off a nearly abandoned beach near the U.S.-Mexico border and… oh God, it's the exact same beginning as last week. Please don't tell me I recorded a rerun. Nope -- this is episode 2. Turns out this show is just really repetitive. Phew.
And anyhow, there's one key difference from last week -- instead of surfing under the watchful eye of Linc "Please Stop Calling Me Evil Dylan McKay As It Will Begin to Confuse People" Stark, Mitch is instead surfing under the watchful eye of the not-unpleasant-looking woman in her late twenties, early thirties who was text-messaging Linc at the end of last week's episode. So Linc is forward-thinking enough to at least outsource his stalking. Good man.
Ah, but Mitch and the not-unpleasant-woman apparently doing Linc's bidding are not the only people on the beach this morning. Just as Mitch is leaving the water, Kai -- you remember Kai? From the surf shop? -- surfs behind Mitch and bellows, "Hey, old man!" Mitch seems not entirely pleased to see her. Or maybe he just hates being reminded of his own mortality. I know my dad hates it when I begin our phone calls with "What? You're still around?" Anyhow, the not-unpleasant-woman frowns at the sight of Kai and begins busily text messaging again -- perhaps she hates being reminded of people's mortality, too.
No, she's frowning because apparently Kai's presence threatens her potential face time with Mitch -- she's waiting at Mitch's car as Kai and Mitch walk up from the beach. "Is she a fan of yours?" Kai wonders. "All my fans are in retirement homes," Mitch snorts. Or hanging out on Nowhere Man fan sites -- same thing, really. But it turns out the not-unpleasant-looking woman is a fan of Mitch -- she introduces herself as Cass (saving me the trouble of typing out "not-unpleasant-looking woman in her late twenties, early thirties" ever again) and said she saw Mitch at Pipe Master back when she was 15 and had something of a crush on the surfing legend. Mitch doesn't recall her; Kai makes the international hand gesture for "Can you believe this nonsense?" Anyhow, Cass says she's a filmmaker -- that's Kai's cue to exit stage right, rolling her eyes -- and that she'd love, love, love to make a documentary about Mitch. Mitch is more interested in eyeballing her car, a classic convertible. "I like vintage," purrs Cass. "What can I say?" Uh…we still talking about cars here? Cass hands Mitch a card, and asks him to consider her generous offer. About making a movie of him? Well, I'm sure that's part of her generous offer.